Our Story

Our adoption story began in 2011 with the Cox family. I have been acquaintances with Kecia for much of my life. We weren't exactly friends at the time, but we have several friends in common and I saw links to her blog all over Facebook. They were in the process of adopting their little girl, Mia, from Ukraine. Curious what this odd journey was all about, I started following their blog and was instantly hooked!!! (To view ABC's coverage of their adoption story, watch this!)
As I watched their story unfold, I had this strange feeling that this would someday be our story.  That someday we could and would adopt an orphan as well!  I didn't mention this feeling to Quin.  I, in fact, didn't say anything about it to anyone.  About a year later, I was getting ready for bed and was feeling very blessed and happy this particular night.  I said out of the blue to Quin, "Do you think we will do foster care or something to help other kids when our own kids get a little older?" He looked at me and said, "No, I always assumed we would adopt a child with Down syndrome from Eastern Europe." I couldn't believe my ears!  "YOU DID!?!?" Was my response.  We didn't talk much more about it that night, but from that time on, it was on our minds frequently.  We casually mentioned to both of our families that this was in our plans for someday a few years down the road.  They were so great about it and more than supportive.  What a relief!  I started to think about it more and more as the weeks passed, and it started to feel very pressing.  It got to the point that I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore and it was constantly on my mind.  I had to make a decision.  Is this what we were supposed to do now, like RIGHT NOW!?  Prayer and pondering became my constant companion for a few days, and I knew my answer.  Yes.  NOW!  We felt such a sense of urgency and know beyond a doubt that this is what we were supposed to be doing right when we were supposed to be doing it.

We felt strongly that our child was waiting for us in Russia. There were SO many waiting children on Reece's Rainbow. It was impossible to "choose". We had several we felt drawn to, but we eventually decided a little peanut named "Victoria" was the one. She still takes my breath away.

We decided to name her Meg once she came home, and this blog was born. About a month and half after we'd committed to Meg, she disappeared from the Russian database. We were heartbroken and feared we'd never know what happened to her. We did eventually, by some miracle, find out she was taken into foster care. Though we were extremely sad not to be able to have her in our family, we were happy she was in a family!

We searched the entire Russian database trying to figure out who we were supposed to adopt, and though we loved so many children, none of them felt right. We got an email from our adoption agency that said the region Victoria was from had never had a child with Down syndrome adopted, either internationally or domestically. The email went on to say that there were many, many children with Down syndrome waiting in this region and that we could really help open the door for the adoption of kids with Down syndrome if we proceeded there. The only catch was that we would be traveling on a blind referral. This means that we would show up in Russia and they would give us a picture of our referral. We would have no knowledge ahead of time what the child would look like or anything about him or her. Even though this sounded scary, we felt that this was what we were supposed to do.

We traveled to Russia in December, 2012. We got the referral of an 18 month old little girl named Dasha. We met her the next day, and it was absolutely love at first sight. I felt the same way about her as I had all our other children when I'd met them for the first time.

  

She took to us immediately, and we were smitten with her. She was amazing. Beautiful, full of life, so smart, and so capable. We had three magical visits with her, and we were heartbroken to have to leave her. I remember getting on the plane to fly home and just crying. I hated not being able to take her with us. She was already our daughter in our hearts.

Six days after we returned home, President Putin signed the Dima Yakovlev law banning Americans from adopting Russian children. A darker time in my life I have not known and never hope to. We did everything in our power to find a way to bring her home. It consumed my life for the better part of ten months. I thought about her all day every day, and I was more depressed than I can even say. This beautiful child was being kept locked in an orphanage because of one evil dictator.

We were in news articles in the U.S., Canada, and several in Russia. (Click on the In the News tab to see some of the press we did.) In the article we participated in for Canada, we begged a Canadian family to step forward and adopt her since they were still allowed. Miraculously, a family did step forward. We raced to help them get funding, but nearly the same day their home study was done, Russia banned Canada from adopting Russian orphans as well. Now two families were suffering the loss of our beloved Dasha girl. Only a few weeks after the ban, we joined a court case in the European Court of Human Rights. That case is still ongoing. We did lots of press in Russia pleading for a family to step forward. In the fall of 2014, just a month and a half shy of the two year mark from when we'd met Dasha, she was taken into a Russian family's home for foster care. I am forever thankful for that family, whomever they are. They saved her from the mental institution. They gave her a family. She would have been transferred in May of 2015. I continue to pray for Dasha every single day. She will be part of our hearts forever.

Five months into the Russian Adoption Ban, I saw the sweetest face on Reece's Rainbow. His advocacy name was "Connor James". My heart skipped a beat when I saw him.

I was still deep in the throws of depression over losing Dasha, but something about him made me smile. I wanted to be his mom. After much prayer, I felt the answer was that it was our choice to make, but if we brought him home we'd wonder what we ever did without him. We had to make a conscious decision at this point in time that we were open to adopting both Dasha and "Connor James". We decided we were, without a doubt, committed to both children. We began the process to adopt in China, and it was nice to have hope and something to look forward to again! We decided to name him Cooper Haolei. Three and a half months into the Chinese adoption process, we got a phone call I will never forget. Because he was an orphan and not receiving the medical care he desperately needed, Cooper passed away. I didn't think it was even possible to feel worse than I did during those first few days. Despite the sorrow, I knew our journey couldn't be over. During the preceding three months, I'd immersed myself in the Chinese adoption world. I saw the need for adoptive families, and it was great. Especially for boys. So we took some time to heal while still progressing towards a Chinese adoption.

After it had been a few months, we began to look for our child. I asked in some advocacy groups for people to post pictures of boys with Ds under the age of 3. I was blown away by how many there were. It was completely overwhelming, and I hated being in the position of "choosing" again. Someone messaged me a few pictures of kids, and the minute I saw these two pictures of  Milo, I knew he was the one. I got chills all over and couldn't wait to hold him in my arms!!

And just like that, we had pre approval from China for this sweet boy. When I take a step back and look at the full picture, I see how Milo was always meant to be ours. He was born just a few weeks before we traveled to Russia. His file was prepared the same month Cooper passed away. It hadn't even been translated into English yet; we had to pay for that to happen. Yet here we were, already five/six months into the adoption. Milo had been transferred from Little Flower, an amazing healing home in Beijing where he received heart surgery and lots of TLC, back to his SWI.  He was not doing well at the SWI, and didn't gain any weight in his 9 months there. I honestly don't know how much longer he could have held on, and we were already so far into the process that I don't think anyone could have gotten to him as quickly as we did. Milo is an absolute joy in our lives. He's our boy and we love the journey that brought us together. Our gotcha or family day was March 10, 2014, and we arrived home on March 20th, 2014.

At the beginning of September 2014, I learned about a 6 year old little boy in China with Down syndrome. His advocacy name was Todd, and he sounded amazing. I included him in a blog post I did trying to find families for waiting children. Adopting again wasn't on our radar. Shortly after I blogged, our family decided to sponsor an Angel Tree child. Angel Tree is a Reece's Rainbow program. You commit to being an Angel Tree sponsor and raising $1,000 over the holidays for your Angel Tree child. We were browsing through all the kids, and we all agreed our hearts were with a 7 year old boy from China with Ds. Our son, who was 7 at the time, asked us why we couldn't adopt him. We laughed at first, but he was serious. He said, "But he needs a family, and we're a family, so...he could sleep on my bunk bed!" I brushed the thought off, but found myself requesting his file. There was nothing wrong with this sweet boy's file, but I knew he wasn't ours. I was so relieved! Phew! A few days later I was quickly scrolling through my blog trying to find something for an article we were doing in Russia to find Dasha a family, and I came across the advocacy post I'd done for "Todd". I got chills and thought, "Oh, he's the one!" I threw that thought away and went on with my life. For some reason, I just kept thinking about "Todd". I told my husband, and he laughed. "No, our lives are already way too crazy. What are you even thinking!?" My mind would say, "Yeah, you're totally right." But my heart kept thinking of him. A month and a half went by, and I was still thinking of "Todd". We went on a big Disney World vacation, and I was certain this would cure me of my strange attachment to "Todd". Disney is no joke of a trip. It takes every ounce of energy to keep four kids regulated. All four kids were amazingly well behaved on the trip, though. And every time I'd look around to make sure we had everyone (which was approximately 10,000 times a day), I'd panic a bit like we were missing someone. I found myself thinking of "Todd" all through the trip and imagining how much fun he would have had. Amazingly, half way through our Disney trip, I found out Dasha had been taken into foster care. I will admit that this freed up part of my heart. I knew we had committed to raising two children with Down syndrome, and now one was lost to us forever.

After we got home, we became serious about praying to find out if we were supposed to adopt "Todd". The answer seemed again to be, "It's your choice, but the things you're afraid of will be taken care of." We decided to say no. Life was too crazy and busy with the four kids we already have, we were still in debt from Russia and Milo's adoptions, and our house is out of space. The very next day was the Primary Program in church where the kids sing and put on a program of everything they'd learned through the year. They sang the song The Family is of God, and a feeling washed over my entire body. I knew we needed to adopt "Todd". Family is what life is about, and he needs us. Life is crazy, but this crazy time is just a season. It will pass and family is forever.

The very next day I was on the phone with adoption agencies trying to find who we should use. It seemed surreal for a solid month. I couldn't believe we were doing this. A 7 year old boy is very different than bringing home a baby. As the idea has become more of a reality, we are excited beyond belief to make "Todd", whom we are naming Ewan, part of our family.

We have learned more through our adoptions than I ever thought possible. The scripture found in Doctrine and Covenants 18:10 "Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God" has new meaning. Heavenly Father loves every one of His children. He wants them to have a family and someone to love and teach them. We are so abundantly blessed, and though we sometimes go into adoption with the desire to help a child, the end result is always that we continue to be blessed. We are the luckiest family in the world to have Milo, and soon Ewan, as our own. Our hearts are at peace that Dasha is in a family, and Cooper is part of our eternal family. Life is so, so beautiful.