How YOU Can Help!

I've had a lot of people ask how they can help me right now, and I have a way! Please sign our petition! This is for the US government. They have been silent on the Russian adoption ban so far, and this petition is asking that they do all in their power to get this ban lifted for at least special needs kids. We need 25,000 signatures for it to be shown to the president, and we need all the help we can get in getting this petition out there for signatures! Please sign and share this link! Thank you so much!!
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/help-americans-save-lives-russian-children-through-adoption/3Vr3YCtX

The Fight

So the Russian adoption ban was signed by President Putin and is now a law that will become effective January 1st.  My heart has been aching all day long.  I go from confident and peaceful, to nervous and weepy within minutes.  I've been glued to my computer searching for news that will ease my pain.  So far things aren't looking super promising.  We have three outs we're hoping for.  One is that there is some consideration (this is what the state department seems to be working on) that Russia will allow those already in process to finish their adoptions.  Today we got messages from several adoption agencies that Russia would for sure let those who have already gone to court and whose 30 day wait it up by December 31 to come get their kids in January (because Russia shuts down starting tomorrow for their New Year/Christmas holidays).  Because they will have their adoption decrees in 2012, they should be allowed to leave.  I am happy for those few families, of whom I know two or three.  There has also been talk in some regions that they will allow those who have traveled once to complete their adoptions.  This is much more in the air and seems to be a flimsy line of hope to hold on to.  I'm grasping for all I'm worth, though!
The second idea I had been clinging to is that since Russia just signed an adoption agreement with the U.S. in July (it just became effective in November) that states if either side wishes to get out of the treaty, they must give the other country one year notice.  This would give myself as well as all my friends in the process plenty of time to complete our adoptions.  This, however, seems to not be valid, as the president indeed signed the bill and said it will become effective January 1st.  I'm not sure what the U.S. response will be on this.  So far there has been silence, as it seems the "fiscal cliff" has been more important in their minds than the Russian adoption issue.  I don't blame them.  I mean, of course the adoption fiasco is more important to me personally, but I understand.  Hopefully when that's all dealt with, the White House's attention will turn to the Russian problem.
The other piece of news that has offered me the most comfort today comes from a member of the parliament that is in Putin's own political party.  He tweeted last night that he is proposing an amendment to the ban that will allow adoptions of special needs children.  The Russian Orthodox Church backs this amendment, and has spoken out that they believe special needs children should be allowed to be adopted by the United States, as we are the only country adopting these children.  Apparently the Kremlin traditionally listens to the church's opinions, so perhaps they will listen to these ideas.  This is what I am personally hoping for, as this will allow many more children to be adopted than just the ones whose prospective parents have already traveled. 
In the end, it is up to the Lord.  He is the performer of miracles.  He turned water into wine.  He healed the lepers.  He made the blind to see, the deaf to hear.  He brought Lazarus back from the dead.  Surely he can change the minds of the officials and amend the law.  Throughout this journey, our path has been paved by God.  We know that Heavenly Father and Jesus hold these children in their hearts.  They are loved more than we can imagine.  We have had more spiritual experiences, more feelings of peace, more happiness than ever before in our lives these last six months.  We were led to Russia at this exact time.  We were led to Meg because she is meant to be ours.  I don't doubt this.  I will admit I have had several moments of falter today, but I do believe this in my heart and will continue forward with faith.
We will forge on with our court dossier as though nothing has happened.  In fact, here are some documents for court that we mailed yesterday!

 

We will press through and pray harder than we ever have in our lives.  We would be honored if you would pray along side us. We cannot thank you enough for your kind words and support!  They are lifting us up right now!

Broken

I am sitting in the plane on our way home from our first visit to Meg/Dasha's country. I know the opinions of the people there are negative towards people with Down syndrome, but I thought that perhaps it was just in raising them for their own. I thought that surely they wouldn't see a fault in someone else wanting to raise a child with Ds. I am sickened by the response we received. It started at the Department of Education. We were asked question after question after question. The woman, I think, thought we didn't understand the diagnosis. We kept trying to politely inform her that just because her perception of the abilities of people with Down syndrome might be one thing, that in fact they can accomplish so much more! They can go to school and read and write and learn everything anyone else can, just at a slower pace. They can go to college. They can have jobs. They can be healthy and happy and have lives. They can be in families and love and be loved. The Minister of Education was shocked at this. I don't know that she believed us. And furthermore, our facilitator and translator was no better. They would ask the same questions over and over again. It was exhausting and so offensive! "We are just trying to understand why you would want a child like this! Why not one with HIV or Hepatitis? Why, when you already have three kids of your own, do you want another child, and one like this!?"
At the orphanage, the director and head doctor (who is the same person) gave us Dasha's whole history and medical background. Her mother had obstetrical care throughout her pregnancy. It was her third pregnancy and she is married got the father. From all signs it was a wanted and planned pregnancy. They relinquished all parental rights the day after she was born and never looked back. Dasha went straight to the orphanage from the hospital. I'm sure they mourned and still mourn the loss of this child. I can't help but think that every mother in the world loves the child she carries. It makes me so, so sad for her family that they don't have her in their lives. They will never know how incredible she is. I know the hurt of leaving her after three visits, and it makes my momma heart hurt all the more for the emptiness her birth mother's heart must feel. This is what needs to change in this country. They need an education program for the birth parents so they stop placing these kids in orphanages. The society as a whole needs to change or this problem will never get better. If only we could help on this front. After the director finished telling us about her notes, we told her we had a present for the orphanage from our children and nieces and nephews. They have decorated bags and filled them with pajamas, underwear, socks, toothbrushes, etc. She was shocked to hear we have kids and immediately started the same line of questioning as the Minister of Education the day before. It's like she could understand if we didn't have kids and were desperate enough to take ANY child we could get, but why of we have kids already would we want "this sort of child". I had to just sit quietly. I couldn't answer these questions again. These questions disgust me. Especially from someone that works with the kids every day. You would think she of all people would develop a love and compassion after knowing so many Ds kids personally. Quin did a good job fielding all these questions as I sat quietly biting my lip.
I tried very hard to win our facilitator over. As we played with Dasha and it was evident she could learn and was, quite frankly, the smiliest, happiest, giggliest baby ever, I thought that maybe she would see that this was just a child. A baby like any other. I would mention, when the facilitator would talk of how Dasha seemed to enjoy dancing, how there is a dance class for kids with special needs near our house. I was signing a few things to Dasha and explained to our facilitator how sign language is beneficial to all toddlers, but particularly to toddlers with Down syndrome, as it gives them a way to communicate before they are able to vocally. I taught it to my other three children as toddlers, and Dasha will learn it, too! "Oh, really!?" She asked questions about life expectancy (it's currently 60 in the US vs 30 in their country) for people with Ds. She asked about education. On our last visit she even said, "Dasha is really pretty when she smiles." Although I was quite offended, because she's pretty all the time, smiling or not, I know it's progress. Baby steps. I just feel such a strong Mamma bear instinct for this little one. I hate the perception that she's less than! She is incredible, and so much more than they know! Some part of me is hopeful that through this process, including the years of post placement reports we are required to do, that maybe a few minds and hearts can be softened and changed. Just maybe.

'Til We Meet Again

Our last day in country.  So very sad.  Don't get me wrong, I'm ready to get home.  I miss my kids, I miss my culture, I miss my home.  I miss the clean air act.  It's just that I'm ready to go home with our little one with us, not leaving her stuck in this cold, lonely place.  I hated to say goodbye.  The whole time we were there this afternoon, we could hear kids crying.  One tiny, screaming new born haunted me as I tried to play with Dasha.  For at least 45 minutes that tiny scream wailed on.  I longed to go find the poor thing and hold him or her.  I know it's supposedly a good sign that they cry, but it felt very depressing to me today.  I couldn't help but wonder how many times our precious little Dasha has been made to cry and wait, her needs never being attended to.  The nannies seem to love her, but there are just so many children and not enough nannies.  So leaving her hurts not only because we love her and want her with us, but also because we aren't leaving her in a good place.  Her poor chappy skin, her soggy diaper, her runny nose, her deep, raspy cough.  She needs her Mama and Papa, and we need her.
We had a nice day today before our orphanage visit.  We only got one visit today because our facilitator (who doubles as a cardiologist) had to work today.  Since we had all day until 3:30 with nothing to do, our cutest hotel ladies took us again to a souvenir shop and helped us buy everything we need before going home.  Then they took us to an authentic restaurant to get "Borscht".  That's beet soup and is very popular here.  It was delicious, and their company was great.  I really like these ladies.  We'll be staying here again next time we come for sure!!

Here we are outside the restaurant.

All of us.  They are the cutest!  The one in front is Alena, and her mother is behind her.  They are so lovely and nice!

Our driver came to pick us up at 3:30, and we headed to the orphanage for our last visit. We had another great visit with our little sweety.  She is so much fun, and I can't wait to get her home and help her start moving her muscles and learning some signs!  She's going to blossom!!  We found a toy drum and showed her how to use it, and she sat for quite a long time pounding the drum.  She loves to dance and sing.  She is always happy.  I've seriously never heard her make an unhappy peep!  She remembered how to play peek-a-boo and loves it!  Her very favorite games, though, are being tickled by her Papa and dropping or throwing items you hand her.  Uh oh!  We'd exclaim and she would laugh every time!  I can't wait for you all to meet her.  She's such a darling, tiny little love!!  When it was time for her porridge, her nanny came to get her.  We asked if she could keep the blanket we brought for her, and she agreed.  We'll see if she still has it next time!  It didn't feel right leaving her.  We kissed her, hugged her, and told her we love her.  We will rush as quickly as possible to get our court documents done and get back here!  We do need continued prayers for the government here, though.  They passed the bill for the third time today, so all that stands in the way of an adoption ban is President Putin.  We are scared, but trying to keep faith.  We don't think we would have been sent all this way for nothing.
Our flight leaves at 6:20 in the morning, so we'd better get packing and get to bed!  Paka for now, cold country!  And, unfortunately, paka for now, Dasha!  We love you forever, and may God be with you 'til we meet again!

Best Day!!

***We are not supposed to share publically any pictures of our child, as she is not technically our child yet.  Her country is very private with their children, and out of respect for those laws (and also to keep ourselves from getting into any trouble and risking in any way our adoption), we are setting up a private blog to post pictures and video.  We would love for you to be able to access our private blog, so just email me at whitneybarrus@yahoo.com, let me know who you are and how you found the blog, and I'll add you to the list!***

I woke up this morning with major anxiety.  What if this child we were referred was severely delayed or had other problems.  This could change our lives forever.  I even had some very un-Christ like thoughts of, "What if she's not even cute at all!?".  I kept praying all morning that these feelings would go away.  After a while, I realized that what we had been preaching this entire adoption process remained true: every child deserves a home.  No matter what.  Whatever they look like, whatever their delays or problems, they deserve a mom and a dad who love them unconditionally.  I can never deny that we have been set on this path by our Father in Heaven.  Led every single step of the way.  I was reminded this morning that these are all His children.  We are all His children.  He loves us and wants us to be happy, and he loves the least of these children as well.  I knew that no matter who this child was, we could and would love her.  We would be her parents forever, whatever he earthly challenges might be.  I felt very at peace and knew everything would be okay.
After a breakfast, we were picked up at 9:20 by our facilitator and driver.

  It is crazy because it doesn't get light here in the winter until about 11:00 in the morning. It's so confusing! It feels so early, yet it's almost lunch time! We made it to the orphanage by 10:00, which was when our appointment was, and headed inside.

 

This is the outside of the orphanage later this afternoon when it was actually light

  We put some awesome booties over our boots and went upstairs to meet with the director.  The orphanage director is also a pediatrician, so she was able to tell us Dasha's entire medical history.  So our child's real name is Daria, but Dasha is the nickname for Daria.  They seem to have a very good medical history!  She had an open oval atrium defect, but it has closed on its own.  She is otherwise healthy!  She has strabismus (basically lazy eye) in her left eye.  The orphanage director told us that she does not walk or talk, but that is considered normal in a child with Down syndrome.  Her birthday is in May.  She will be two then, so she is currently almost 19 months.  They said that in general, she seems very alert and smart, even compared to other children with Down syndrome.  I was so relieved at this moment!  Her mother had good obstetrical care during the pregnancy and seems to have a stable home life.  Her parents gave her up at birth because of her diagnosis of Down syndrome.  She went straight to the orphanage from the hospital. If only they knew what they were missing out on! 
After the whole medical history, we gave the donation to the orphanage (our kids and nieces and nephews on Quin's side decorated bags on Thanksgiving and filled them with underwear, socks, pajamas, and toothbrushes for the children at the orphanage) as well as a present to the orphanage director and nannies. 

The director seems like a very nice lady and even smiled quite a bit, which is very odd in this country!!!  They are generally not too friendly here and are very guarded with their emotions.  We were asked several questions about why we are adopting a child with "this condition".  We have been asked this so many times that I'm exhausted of this question.  I knew we would be asked this a lot, but I just wasn't prepared for millions of follow up questions and looks you would give a person that just told you the sky was green.  EVERYONE we have encountered in this city thinks we are insane for wanting this child.  The answer I want to give to the question, "Why do you want this kind of child" is "What kind of child?  A beautiful, smiling, happy, loving, giggly, full of life child?  Because why wouldn't I want to adopt this kind of child!?!?"  Instead, I let Quin answer the questions ;) It's just better that way.
Anyhow, we went upstairs at this point into a really cute little playroom.  They are preparing for a New Year's celebration to be held on December 26th.  They were cutting out darling little paper snowflakes and they had Christmas decorations all around.  The workers all left and we waited for a bit for them to bring her in.  The orphanage director is the one that brought her in.  She was holding Dasha's hands and she walked in.  My heart melted.  It was just like when I saw my other three kids for the first time.  Absolute and pure love at first sight!!  I immediately started crying and just couldn't believe how lucky I was to be able to be her Mama some day!  She is perfect.  Beautiful, happy, innocent, and perfect.  The visit was exactly what I needed to cement in my head that this is the child that is meant to be ours.  We will do whatever it takes from this point forward to make that a reality!
She was not super cuddly at first (she seemed to want to, but it would only last two seconds and she would try to escape.  I think probably she's just not used to this kind of affection and it's overwhelming to her), but funny enough, she loves to hold hands.  If ever I got a hand free to play with a toy, she would try to grab my hand again.  You can tell she hasn't had much of a chance to play with toys before, because she really didn't know what to do with them.  After about 30 seconds in Papa's arms, though, and she was giggling like you wouldn't believe!  Her whole face lights up with delight and we were smitten!  We had so much fun playing and laughing, and by the end, she was my cuddle bug!  She wanted to be held and snuggled!  The funniest thing to me was by the end of our visit, you could tell she was getting very sleepy.  She was sitting on my lap, then all of the sudden she just feel asleep!  I got to put her on my shoulder and soak up every single second until the nanny came in to get her.  For the first time in her short little life, she had a Mama to fall asleep on.  She is the sweetest little bug!!!  I just wanted to run out of there with her and never have to look back.  I HATE that I have to wait four more months to be able hold her forever. 
As far as my physical assessment of her, the first thing I noticed was her extremely dry, cracked skin.  It is so sad!  All over her face and hands (so pretty much all the skin I saw) was so dry it felt like alligator skin!  I kept thinking, "Dang, next time I'm bringing the Aquafor!".  I seriously can't wait to get that poor dry skin cleared up!  Also, she had lots of blood behind one ear.  As I looked closer, it was all scratched up.  Her nails were kind of long, so I bet it itches back there (because seriously, it's too dry!!!) and she scratches it enough to draw blood.  Poor thing!  Also, her head has been shaved.  In the picture we saw from November, she had hair.  Now it's all buzzed off :( I don't know that we'll be able to find out why, but I did ask my facilitator.  She has some weird sores on her head, so it was hypothesized that perhaps she had some sort of infection on her head and that's why they shaved it.  Bummer.
We came home from the first visit, went to lunch, then got ready for our next visit.  The orphanage is about 45 minutes away from our hotel (mostly because of traffic).  Our driver came to get us at 3:30 and we got to the orphanage at 4:15.  We had a relatively quick second visit, but it was fun!  She was loving being cuddled right from the start of this visit!  The best part was that we got out a blanket we brought for her and showed her twice how to do peek-a-boo.  From then on, she would grab the blanket, throw it over her head, wait for you to say, "Where's Dasha?", then she's pull it down and laugh like crazy.  Cutest thing ever!!  One thing I did notice was crying coming from a nearby room.  This is actually really good news!  Kids that are neglected will quickly learn that crying doesn't do a thing, and they stop.  They turn their emotions inward and do things to self soothe, like rock, bang their head, or bite their hands.  The fact that a child was crying meant that they aren't being neglected too severely and was quite a relief!!  Our second visit wasn't super long, but it was long enough to love on her some more!  She is amazing!! 
Tomorrow our facilitator (whose other job is as a cardiologist.  Seriously.  I couldn't make this stuff up!) has to work, so we can't go to the orphanage in the morning :( We will go again in the afternoon, though, and sign some papers saying yes, we for sure want to adopt this child!!
Thank you everyone for following our journey!  We still need some prayers that the battling between our government and Dasha's government will not prevent us from adopting her!  Thank you!!  

One Step Closer

Today's breakfast menu was yummy and tasted good!  We had that same cottage cheese stuff fried along with some salty cooked wheat (sort of like oatmeal, but with wheat instead).  I am enjoying tasting some local foods!  We asked our hotel lady (using Google translate) how to get into the city to buy souvenirs.  She used Google translate to let us know that when her daughter got home, we would all go together.  She is so very nice to us, even though we take up a lot of her time trying to understand each other.  We rode around for a few minutes, then parked by the university.  Her daughter was waiting for us there.  She and her mother own the hotel and run it all by themselves.  We found out that they work so very hard to keep their little hotel operating nicely and make a living for themselves.  I'm happy we chose to stay here and help support them.  We are planning on staying here at least the next trip as well.  They even offered to take us on a tour of the city!

So we hopped in their car and we saw some interesting buildings and old houses out our windows.  Our first stop was at the monastery.  It was very cool.  We went inside and there were a lot of people in there lighting candles and praying to saints (or whatever they are doing...I have no idea).  It was very ornate and lovely, though.

After the monastery stop, we headed toward the artillery museum. This is the city where they used to manufacture all the artillery weapons for this country.  We were outside quite a while looking at all the old tanks and missiles, and I seriously thought I might freeze to death! It was about -11 degrees F through all of this.  SO COLD!!!!!!

  After the artillery museum, our kind hotel ladies took us to the main hotel in this city that is sort of the city center.  There was a mall acoss the street as well as gift shops in the hotel.  We looked around and bought a few presents for our kids, then we needed to find lunch.  Well, at the bottom of the mall there was a McDonald's.  Seriously, even though the food there isn't the best, it is always nice to be able to walk into some place that doesn't understand you and you don't understand them, say "Big Mac", and be able to get food!  This McDonald's was funny.  The drive-thru was really a walk-thru!

We came home form our outing and got ready to go to the Education Department!  You are supposed to look nice when you go there, so I put on a skirt and Quin wore a suit.  We had a fun chat with Alena, who is the young woman that owns the hotel with her mother.  She loves meeting new people and practicing her English.  She is so very kind! 

Once Oksana got here, I got yelled at for my shoe choice.  They were simple flats, but both Alena and Oksana felt it very foolish to go out in weather like that with those shoes on.  They can't have me catching pneumonia, after all!  The funniest part of this is that the walking required was so very minimal!  Just from one building to the car, then from the car to the building.  I'm sure I could have handled it, but my Sorrel's with my skirt it was ;)

The Education Department was somewhat intimidating to me.  They gave us our referral along with a picture.  The picture is interesting.  We'll have to see how tomorrow goes.  Either she is quite delayed, or it's just a bad picture.  Time will tell!  We asked why she got referred to us, and they said because it's the only girl with Ds in the region under 2 that's available for international adoption at this time.  There are more boys and older girls, but just one under 2.  There is a baby that was born in May that will be eligible February 5th, but for now, we just have the option of the one child.  This is very stressful to me.  I'm sure it will be fine and in all honesty, every child needs a home.  I just need to keep the faith that we have been led in this direction for a reason.  We got asked a billion questions as to why we are doing this.  It made me very, very, very sad.  They just don't see the point in rescuing one of these children.  We told of our friendships with adults with Ds, our friendships with other families that have children with Ds, the educational opportunities where we live, etc.  They asked several times about our family support and just couldn't believe that everyone is on board and supportive.  We answered all their questions, then were told at the end that they aren't sure how the judge will respond to this.  They had to legally give us the referral, but the judge does not have to pass us in court.  Also, the law pending about banning all U.S. adoptions here could affect us.  We need lots of prayers in the coming months!!  We also found out that our original little Victoria wasn't adopted after all.  She's still in foster care.  I am so overwhelmed with emotion tonight for so many reasons.  Hopefully I get a good night's sleep tonight so the whole orphanage scene doesn't just push me right over the edge ;) 

We talked some with Oksana about the situation for people born with Ds in this country.  She said she knows of two families that kept their children and they are both adults now.  There just simply wasn't the resources available to them.

After heading back to the hotel, we went to the grocery store to prepare for tomorrow.  Juice boxes and bananas to go meet our girl tomorrow!!

 We stopped at this hat shop in the way home from the store.  We may or may not have purchased a present for our son there ;) I made Quin try this hat on just for fun.  He looks like he's having fun, right!? 

When we got back to the hotel, we told Alena that we wanted to try some palmini for dinner.  They are dumplings that are a specialty here and we wanted to try some.  Well, Alena's grandmother makes these and then they freeze them so they can be served to guests when they come!  We ate a delicious, homemade dinner of palmini tonight.  Yay!  Here is cute Alana joining us for dinner.

Well, the day we've all been waiting for is tomorrow!!  At 9:20 am, our facilitator will pick us up and we will head to the orphanage to meet with our child, the orphanage director, the doctor, and the nannies!!!  Wish us luck!!  



We're Here!!

We finally made it!! It's always an adventure traveling half way around the world, but we are having a good time so far! We left on Sunday morning and flew to LA where we had a 5 hour layover. Our plane ride to Meg's country was long! It was through the night and there were babies crying all night long. I was happy I wasn't the one in charge of any of them, too! There wasn't a lot of sleep to be had for anyone on the plane.

Ready to leave on our first leg!

This guy was siting next to us on the long plane ride.  He looked exactly like Gru from Despicable Me!!  I wish I could have gotten a picture from the front.  His resemblance was uncanny!  Even their accents are the same!!

Coca Cola light!!  Reminds us SO much of living in Austria when we first got married.  So fun!! I don't know why it won't rotate this picture, but you get the point.

Beautiful sunset

The frozen capital city right before we landed.

We arrived in the capital city and had a six or seven hour layover, so we rented a room at the airport in a "capsule hotel". It is a small room that has a bed, toilet, and shower. You rent it by the hour, so we paid for 4 hours. We took a nap and a quick shower, then walked around the airport. There was so much I wanted to buy! Hopefully on the way home once we have an empty bag (after we give all our presents and donations) we can do some serious airport shopping ;)

Our room in the capsule hotel.

The flight to Meg's city was in the middle of the night. I don't know why, as it's just a 2 hour domestic flight, but whatever. There is a 2 hour time difference from the capital to the city where we are now, so we arrived at 5:30 am. All the other stops we had made up to this point we never had to go outside, so imagine our surprise when the airplane door opens and we have to walk outside! It was 25 degrees below zero!! We had short sleeves and no coats. Needless to say, all the natives were full on staring at us ;) Some of them were even pointing and laughing! I'll admit, we really were dumb Americans at that moment!

We had arranged with the hotel to have a driver pick us up. To our surprise Oksana, who is our facilitator through our adoption agency, was there as well with a different driver! We paid the driver from the hotel and rode with Oksana. Nothing like 2 drivers waiting to take you to your hotel to make you feel extra loved! We went to sleep after we arrived at the hotel at like 7:00 am and didn't wake up until after 3:00 pm! Whoops!! We quickly showered and then set of to find a bank to change money. This is not as easy as it sounds! We were lucky the bank was nearby for 2 reasons. 1: It's impossible to get around when you can't even read the words let alone understand the language and not many people here speak English, and 2: it was so cold my nose hairs were frozen! There was a little mini grocery store next to the bank, so we stopped in and got some chips and soda. We got back to the hotel and planned on asking for a taxi to take us to get some dinner, but our sweet hotel lady was making us breakfast. Breakfast is included in our hotel, so I guess since we slept so late she still wanted to feed us. She is so very kind! So what do you do when it's 5:30 pm, too cold to go outside, and you don't speak the language? Hide in your room and watch movies on your iPad, of course! We just barely did face time with the kids, so that was fun! It was so good to talk to them for a minute before school! I guess we'll be going to bed early tonight to try to get on the right schedule.
 Tomorrow morning I am hoping to see the city and shop for souvenirs! This is where our daughter is from and it's important to soak up as much as we can and take as many pictures as possible!  We have plans tomorrow afternoon to go to the Department of Education. We will go to the orphanage Thursday morning for our first visit!! We will have two visits on both Thursday and Friday, then we take the middle of the night flight back to the capital city on Saturday to make it home for Christmas! 
So right now there is a brand new problem with relations between the U.S. government and the government in Meg' country. There is a bill that would ban U.S. adoptions from this country completely. Please pray that this doesn't happen!! These kids need us! Even if it's just special needs adoptions that they will allow, that would be okay (this is one idea being floated around with their government). Not that the other kids don't need families too, but they are more likely to be adopted by locals. This bill could go into effect as early as January 1, 2013. Please pray!!
Thanks for following along with our journey!  Hopefully we'll know more tomorrow about our girl and get to see pictures!!!

Bittersweet

We found out today that our little Meg (whose real name is Victoria) was adopted.  We don't know who adopted her, but if you remember from this post, we did know she was in foster care.  I have been nervous ever since then that the family took her only for money and would dump her back in the orphanage once she was older and they were sick of her.  I have checked the database in her country every single day to see if she made it back on there.  I will admit that a part of me was holding out hope that we would get there and she would be available.
After finding out she was adopted, I have several emotions.  First of all, I was happy.  Yes, happy.  I was happy that she has a family.  I was relieved that they didn't take her for the money, but that they must love her.  They don't get money for adopting.  It also felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, because I feel that I am totally open now to whatever child is placed before us.  They all need homes, and we will be honored to be the parents of any one of them.  Before the news that she was adopted, I always felt like I was betraying her by leaving her.  Now I know she is not the child that is supposed to be in our family.  I know that we have been led on the exact path we have been because there is a child out there that is supposed to be in our family, and we would not have found her otherwise. 
Of course I am also feeling very sad that we will never know Victoria.  That we will never be able to tell her we love her and thank her for sending us on this journey.  She will always have a place in my heart.  Because of her, we are on our way in 3 1/2 days half way around the world to meet the little girl that will change our lives forever.  And I simply can't wait. 

We Have Lift Off!!!

Well, dates for lift off anyway!  Can you even believe this!?  I can't!  I'm sort of freaking out right now!  We are leaving IN ONE WEEK!!!!  You heard me right!  We have 7 days to prepare everything we need for our first trip to meet our girl!!!  Do you think I'm ready for Christmas yet?  Nope.  Do you think we have everything we need for our trip (or even know what we need, for that matter?)  Nope.  I'm over-the-moon excited, but also SO anxious!  We'll need to speed through the next few days to get everything done!  Who will our child be!?  CAN'T WAIT to find out!!!  I know there are a lot of exclamation points involved in this post, but that's because I'm so excited right now I can't even stand it! 

Because of our late notice and traveling around Christmas (our travel dates are December 15-December 23), our tickets and Visas were insanely expensive!  Oh well, how do you put a price on a child's life?  We are flying directly from L.A. to Meg's country's capital city, then catching a connecting flight to her region.  Well, the flights from Salt Lake to L.A. were $750 over these dates!!!  What!?  They are normally around $150, so this is insane!  We have decided it is not worth $1500 for us to fly to L.A., so we are making the 12 hour drive.  Crazy?  Yup.  Anything to save a buck these days ;) We are going to be dead tired, but we'll be home for Christmas!!

We booked our plane tickets a few days ago because prices were sky rocketing every few minutes.  We knew it wasn't a sure deal that we would be traveling on these dates, but it would only be $90 to cancel our international flights.  Worth it not to risk losing the chance to travel before the LONG January holiday!  Well...because we sort of guesstimated the dates, we are arriving in Meg's country a few days earlier than our appointment with the Department of Education.  I guess we'll get to do lots of sight seeing.  In temperatures that won't exceed -5 degrees F.  Haha!  It will be an adventure, that's for sure!  The only sad thing is that we only have Thursday the 20th and Friday the 21st to meet with our baby.  Big, big bummer to travel literally half way across the world (which will take us 3 days to get there) for only two days of visits.  It's okay, though.  In the long run, these dates will be worth it.  Going before Christmas will allow us to work on our court dossier while Meg's country is on shut-down for the New Year/Christmas vacation (they celebrate Christmas on January 8th).  The country pretty much shuts down the first three weeks of January. 

We are over the moon excited and hope you'll all stay tuned for our adventures in Eastern Europe!!  We have internet service, so hopefully I'll be updating the blog daily once in country!  Thank you all SO very much for the love and support we've received thus far.  We are truly blessed!

***UPDATE!!  We got tickets to LA, so we don't have to drive!!!  Many thanks to Quin's mom for searching those out for us!  They were around $500 I think, but Quin's parents donated their frequent flier miles for one of the tickets, and my parents donated miles for the other ticket.  We appreciate their kindness more than we can even say!  Thank you to all of them for being so amazing!!

Closer!

I had a good chat with our agency today about traveling.  We are the first family EVER in this region to pursue adopting a child with Down syndrome.  There has NEVER been an adoption of a child with Ds from this region (basically like a state).  Ever.  I can't even imagine.  Anyhow, because of this, the Department of Education is reluctant to give us a referral.  They told our facilitator to check with a judge to see what the courts would think about this absurd idea of adopting a child with Ds.  Our facilitator checked with a judge, and he said they would give us three referrals to test our desire to adopt a child with Ds.  The first would be for a child with HIV.  We should reject the referral.  The second would be for a child with different special needs, but not Ds.  We should reject this referral as well.  The third would be a referral for a child with Down syndrome.  Once we get and accept this referral, we are free to travel.  Crazy!  So based on a tentative timeline, we could be leaving in 9 days!!  Yup, you read right.  NINE DAYS!!!  AAAHHHH!!  Of course this is all subject to change based on how long it takes to get the referrals.  If we don't make it in time for that week, we will have to wait another month until mid January, as the country shuts down for the first few weeks of January.  I am so excited I can't even stand it!!  It's like being pregnant and having an induction date.  We are going to meet our child!!  YES!!!!