It's Official!

Today was an extremely long day! Milo slept only moderately well last night. He started moaning in his sleep around 5:00 am because he couldn't breathe well. I put him in bed with us and propped him up with my arm for about an hour. We all got up at 6:00 to get ready for our crazy day. Our guide picked us up and we headed to the Civil Affairs office again for the last time. You have 24 hours to decide if you want to keep your child or not. Um, we said yes. We had to sign a billion papers and put our thumbprint on our signatures. Then Milo, who was sound asleep in the Ergo, had to have his whole hand inked and stamped. He slept through it all! After we were done, it became official! We are Milo's legal parents!! WAHOO!!

Posing with the city official. She was very nice and thanked us for adopting Milo and for loving him and giving him a good life.

 After we finished at the Civil Affairs building, we had to go across town to a notary. The office was on the fifth floor. No elevator, of course. No wonder these people stay so thin! We had to sign a bunch more documents there. When we were finally done with that, we headed out of town. We needed to go to Milo's birth town to apply for his passport. Milo is from Anyang City, which is about 2 1/2 hours away from Zhengzhou. Milo slept from the minute I put him in the Ergo before we got into the car to just outside Anyang. Quite the snooze!

Once we finally got to Anyang, we went to grab a quick bite to eat. While there, I needed to use the restroom. Dang it, a squatter! I took a picture so everyone could see what I'm talking about!

Once we were done with lunch, the office official from Milo's orphanage met us at the police station to help us get all the paperwork done. Milo needed his passport picture taken, and they insisted he had to sit in the chair by himself. Um, no. It took three of us to prop him up from the sides!

When we finally were done applying for the passport, we went to the grocery store to buy some diapers to take to the orphanage, or social welfare institute as it's known in China. The director was there to meet us. She is the one in the picture holding Milo's hand.

The outside of the orphanage

As we approached the gates, there were a few children outside playing. Two of them had Down syndrome and were so, so sweet. I waved and said, "Ni Hao!" They yelled Ni Hao back and grabbed my hands.

So my heart already hurt before we even got inside the building. These darling, darling children! The guide said, "Oh, don't worry about them. They're not right in the head." Our guide is a sweet man. He was raised to think this way, as were many others in China. That's why there are so many abandoned children!!

We all feel in love with this guy! He is absolutely darling! I happen to know he has a Mama coming for him! YAY!!!

My husband, who has never once asked to write on the blog, asked to be the one to write about the visit to the orphanage. Not once since Russia closed, Cooper died, or we held Milo in our arms. That's how you know this orphanage visit hit him deeply <3. Here are his words:

Visiting the orphanage was, by far, the most gut wrenching experience of the entire trip.  After the padlock was taken off of the gate, we visited two orphanage rooms - one with approximately 8 kids in it and the other with approximately 11.  There were approximately 12 other rooms in the younger building and an entirely different section of the orphanage for older children.  The first room we visited room had children Milo's age up to about 2 years of age.  If they could crawl they were allowed on the floor to play with toys that would be rivaled only by something you might find on a roadside.  If a child couldn't crawl, he or she was forced to simply sit in the crib, like one little boy (pictured below) or, if a child couldn't even sit up they were forced to simply lay on their backs staring at the ceiling all day.  Try it sometime.  Lay on your back and don't move.  See how quickly you start going crazy.

This last little guy had some life in him.  He would at least smile when you tickled his cheek.  Both of the children watched us as we moved and we felt almost guilty leaving their line of site, knowing that once we had taken one or two more steps, it was back to the ceiling for entertainment.  No wonder Milo loves his own hands.

The only little girl in the young room who could walk.

This little guy would laugh when you would touch his hands and had a funny little crawl that reminded me of my other kids.

This was Milo's bed. We like that it's empty now!

All of the mobile children huddled around the dirtiest doll that, when wound, played "It's a Small World."  The song seemed ironic to us.  For one thing, these children's world is smaller than most.  For another, that song talks of caring and the similarities of the people of this world.  At least with respect to orphans and the sanctity of human life, we are not the same as so many other people in this world.

 

The next room we went in we were immediately greeted by the sweetest boy and girl you could meet.  Instantly, as we walked in the door with a camera around our neck they begged us to take their picture.  You can see the one little girl smiling and the little boy announcing to us that he is three.  This little boy proceeded to try to ask us a million questions.  He would ask a question, the orphanage worker would translate it to our guide (toddler to adult translation) and our guide would translate it from Chinese to English.  These were two of the sweetest, most well-behaved children we've ever met and, despite their infectious personalities and utter innocence and humility, they sit, undiscovered, in an orphanage in an obscure city in China.

The other 9 children were confined in these cage cribs.  At first, a few of them shouted their greetings to us.  I walked crib to crib and said hello and tickled each child.  Amazingly, all nine of the children responded.  And, they were hooked.  Apparently they'd never seen a 6 foot tall white guy cross his big eyes before.  Quite frankly, they were my best audience.  Nobody has ever found me so funny.  They all wanted their pictures taken, would smile big, and then would request to see themselves (and try to touch every button on the camera).  Big waves were given and kisses were blown as we left.

 We can't stop thinking about these children.  They were born into this world, some with major difficulties, some needing only a minor surgery.  None of them had any say about it.  For a myriad of reasons, some political, some cultural, they were all abandoned.  So, they sit in an un-heated, un-air-conditioned, dirty and crumbling building, malnourished and neglected.  They watch as American moms and dads come and take their friends to a loving home and, for just a moment, they are reminded of the possibility that someday they too might be paroled from their orphan prison.  Though they have never known love, they know it exists ... somewhere.  

Many of you who read our blog have adopted a child from similar circumstances and know the miracle it is for the child as well as your family.  This blog has always been a narrative of our journey, and never a soapbox.  So, please indulge us for just one moment as we try to act as a mouthpiece for these children.  If you have ever thought of adopting a child (now or later), or if you know somebody that is thinking about it, don't forget about the sweet children sitting in these crib cages.  One thing I have learned is that, as Americans, we have far more than most people could ever hope to have.  An international adoption is not for everybody - but it's for a lot of people and if you feel like you might be one of them, don't ignore that feeling.  Nobody wouldn't love these children.

That's the end of Quin's post. Now back to Whitney:

Goodby forever, Anyang SWI.  We left part of our hearts in your halls and the faces of these sweet children will never be forgotten by us.  You will be in our prayers.  It's crazy to think that just yesterday, Milo was one of the faces living here.  He can't sit up, so he would have been one of the unfortunate few forced to simply stare at the ceiling all day long.  He got very little attention, if any, and clearly had insufficient food.  Just 24 hours later, it has all changed.  He is loved, and he is starting to know it.

This was the tail end of a giant smile. Love this kid!!

Milo has a long way to go. He is in his own little world most of the time. He lets us in every once in a while, and those moments are golden. He made spontaneous eye contact several different times today and even smiled a big grin at me while making eye contact! This half a second will keep me going until the next time! He not only tolerates being held and cuddled, but seems to thrive on it! He really enjoyed the Ergo and seemed content to be held all day long! He snuggled his head on both mine and Quin's shoulders today. He ate like a champ and downed 5 6 oz. bottles. Tomorrow we'll try for 6! He makes eye contact several times while being fed. He grinned from ear to ear while being tickled by his daddy this morning and we're 85% certain he knows how to wave hello and goodbye! He is an absolutely delightful little soul and we are enjoying every single second with him!