We found out some very heartbreaking news on September 19th. Meg was no longer on her country's database for children without parental care. We didn't know exactly what it meant, but we knew it wasn't good. From the very beginning of this journey, we have known this was a possibility. No legal hold is placed on a child until your dossier is submitted and registered in country, a referral given, the child visited, and then the referral signed (so basically after the first visit). Even then, if the parents or any native of the child's country step forward and are willing to take the child, you no longer have a hold on the child. Even after court and the child is declared yours, the family could come forward for another 30 days and take the child back. It is a gamble we were willing to take. The chances of another family taking the child you're pursuing are very, very rare. In our child's country, only 15% of children born with Down syndrome are raised in families. 85% of them are in orphanages. With those statistics, it's unlikely that someone is going to come adopt the very child you're working to adopt. Rare, but it does happen.
We have been in somewhat of a holding pattern for a few weeks now trying to decide what to do. Our agency agreed to try to investigate what happened to our little Meg, though they were skeptical they would be able to find anything out as we have not registered in the region yet (they have laws similar to HIPPA that prohibit information from being shared about the children without a prospective adoptive family being registered).
Suspecting that Meg would be permanently unavailable for adoption, we started the search for a new child. We searched the database for hours trying to find the child we felt should be ours. We found several we love and even really pursued one, but after about two weeks of sending emails to the other agency, we still hadn't received a single email back. We felt stuck. Our agency did find out that our sweet, precious little Meg was in foster care in her country and would not be available for us to adopt unless the foster family returned her. It is supposed to be a permanent placement foster home that leads to adoption. Then on Thursday (October 4), this is the email we got from our agency:
(This is from the facilitator in Meg's region. DS obviously stands for Down syndrome.)
"Today when I spoke with the lady who works with the database she said that there are many kids with DS, but the Ministery (in Meg's region) never placed DS kids for international adoption and they don't know how judges will react on this. Anyway, I've talked then with the Chief of the Welfare Department and she agreed to have this risk and try to place a DS child internationally. But she insists that the dossier should be received first, and then she would find a good candidate for the family. She also confirmed that there are MANY kids with DS and yes very young girls. I think now that I will call tomorrow to the director of the orphanage where those kids could live and ask her about DS girls from 0 to 2 years old available for adoption. If she has those girls, I'll let you know, but I'm not sure I'll be able to get the photos. I will try. This would be a very good thing if we could place a DS girl and they could see how successful it could be. Maybe they would put their DS kids on the database and not hide them."
The woman from our adoption agency in the U.S. forwarded this to me as well and sent this note from herself:
"Please think about Oksana's email. You have the possibility of changing the attitudes in this Region. How great would it be if more special needs children were placed! I really hope you will consider this option. You can still register in more than one Region, but this is such a great opportunity, I would hate to see it go by. It would still keep you in the P*** (confidential until adoption is final) Region until we see how the foster family feel about adopting "Meg."
Well, I have to say that this is the answer I was looking for! It's a little scary not being able to see pictures of kids beforehand and just having to go on blind faith that we will find a child we connect with and feel should be part of our family, but how do we pass up the prompting that this is what we are supposed to do? We don't! The Welfare Department in Meg's region has been amazing already! They know we're coming, and they even put a little girl on the database for us to see! So exciting! This also means that if anytime Meg becomes available again, we will snatch her right up!
Thank you, as always, for your incredible support! We are swimming in love from our friends, family, neighbors, and even strangers! It's possible we are the most blessed family on earth! Love to you all and we will keep you updated on our journey!
P.S. This is the little girl we fell in love with but won't be able to adopt because she is in the wrong region. I emailed her picture to Reece's Rainbow and they put her on their site! I even got to name her ( I named her McCall. Not only do I love that name, but I adore my cousin, McCall as well)! If someone reading this loves her as much as I do, please go save her!!! Click here to view her profile on Reece's Rainbow. They don't come more precious than this! Her birthday is the same month and year as Meg's. She turned one in August. I want to kiss her cheeks!
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