On Adopting a Boy From China

We have three biological children. A girl, a boy, and a girl. When we started thinking about adopting (June of 2012), we were open to a child of either gender. In fact, we eagerly pursued a little boy in Russia, but his agency wasn't accepting new clients at the time. Once we found Victoria and fell in love with her, our minds were set that it would be a girl. When she wasn't available to us, we went on a completely blind referral and, obviously, received the referral of a little girl.

When we started thinking of adding an additional child due to the Russian ban, we were also open to a child of either gender. Our son, however, was not. He was 100% offended that we would not want another boy like him. Why would we CHOOSE to add another girl? He felt he already had three sisters (though only two in our home), and he was ready for a brother! I was fine with this. When we saw Cooper's picture and fell head over heels in love, it just felt right! And our son was over the moon excited that he would be getting a little brother!

Then the unthinkable happened, and Cooper passed away. We knew our story couldn't end there, and we began to look at other pictures of waiting children after a few weeks had passed. We were anxious to find our child! It's a horrible feeling to sift through pictures of children and know you can't bring them all home. I honestly and truly loved them all SO much! I didn't know who to choose! What an awful thing, to have to "choose" a child. Bleh. I started asking for help from some China Waiting Children advocacy groups. I said we wanted a child with Down syndrome younger than our youngest bio child. Many boys were posted, and a few girls. There was one girl in particular that I was so, so in love with! I didn't know how I was going to say no! I also knew, though, that my son would never forgive me if we chose another girl. He'd lost his little brother and was grieving. It would be salt in the wound to deny him another brother and choose a girl. I showed him the picture of the little girl I was in love with, and he agreed that she was cute, but not the brother he knew was coming. Then I got a message from a darling gal that's heavily involved in advocating for waiting children. She told me that if I felt an inclination to adopt a boy to PLEASE do so. She said to give it a few days and see what happened. Sure enough, the girls were ALL chosen! And depressingly enough, not a single boy had been chosen. She explained that girls are chosen consistently over boys in international adoption. I had no idea! 

Well, being as far in the process as we are, I've heard a LOT of, "You're adopting a BOY from China?? I didn't even know that was possible!" The more I've learned, the more this bothers me. I think so many go to China to adopt girls because that's the population that was rejected and available for adoption historically. Most Americans know that the Chinese people can have only one child, and they prefer a son to carry the family name on and to care for the parents in their old age. This did and does lead to a lot of baby girls being abandoned. So many decide to go to China and adopt a girl. The fact is, though, that many, many boys are abandoned as well! Especially boys with disabilities! There are SO, SO many boys waiting to be adopted in China! Here is a fascinating article from the Love Without Boundaries blog about the adoption of boys. It's worth the read! 

I am so very thankful for the BOY we're going to add to our family from China! I can't imagine it being any other way! I didn't see Milo's picture for quite some time because no agency was advocating for him. His file wasn't even quite translated yet. Someone that followed Little Flower knew about him, though, and sent me some pictures LF had posted on Facebook. The second I saw his face, I had electric sparks go through my body. THIS WAS OUR BOY!! No doubt about it! 

I am so thankful for the many people advocating for the adoption of waiting children. I am so thankful for all I have learned through this journey. I am so thankful for the beautiful boy that will be joining our family in one short month!

Here's a video Love Without Boundaries did to promote the adoption of boys. So sweet!! Can't wait to get my waiting boy HOME!!

This is the outfit we got today for Milo to wear to his U.S. Consulate appointment in China. I know girls are amazingly fun to shop for, but come on! This is pretty darn cute!

P.S. It's also important to adopt girls from China! I'm not trying to invalidate how awesome it is to adopt a girl! Every child deserves a home!!