I Am Slowly Going Crazy, Crazy Going Slowly Am I!

Well, things are moving along in our little guy's adoption, just not at the rate I'd like. It is normal and typical and nothing to be worried about, I just am really sick of waiting. A few other moms have traveled to his orphanage after their own gotcha days (you have to travel to his city to apply for a passport, so they go visit the orphanage while they're there) and have gotten some precious photos of our guy. It's always really, really exciting to get the pictures, but then I always get really, really anxious. His orphanage doesn't have the money to pay for heat. He is bundled up, but I can't even imagine. It worries me so! He also looks very puffy to me. The other thing that strikes me is just how dang boring it must be for him! I don't think he can sit up, so he just lays all day long in his crib. He is staring at his hand in several of the pictures. Not the most engaging of circumstances, to say the least! In short, it feels like some sort of torture to see him in pictures and not be able to go get him. Our dossier has been out of translation for a few weeks, so we should be reviewed in no time! That means we are getting close to having our LOA, or letter of approval! Once we have that, things start to pick up! We have a few more steps to complete after LOA, then we'll have travel approval!! I'm hoping to travel in March. Although it feels forever away right now, I know the time will fly. I have lots to get done and prepare before he arrives home, so I'll stay busy!

Here's our guy from a day and a half ago! Such a handsome fella! One of the grandmother's of a little girl who was at our guy's same orphanage worked with her church group for months making tons of beautiful quilts. Our guy was SO, SO lucky to receive one! I love it! It made me cry to think of a tangible piece of love being placed to blanket him and keep him warm!!

December has been hard on me. Opening the Christmas closet and decorating the house has been very difficult this year. It's because last December was big for us. We had no clue a ban was coming, and we were blissfully excited and thrilled to be traveling soon. We knew Dasha would be home for Christmas 2013, and I was so excited last year thinking how we'd have another stocking this year. I was literally sobbing while hanging the stockings this year. Hers is missing. We got word we could travel to Russia on December 7th, 2012. One year ago tomorrow. Oh, the pain is great. We met Dasha on December 20th. While in Russia, we bought lots of Christmas/New Years souvenirs. Several matryoshka ornaments, several Grandfather Frost figurines, etc. As we carefully unwrapped them all this year, I cried and cried and cried. Such an empty, crushing feeling. I miss Dasha so much it physically hurts me. Don't get me wrong; I have come to a new place of peace (per my last post), but sometimes the pain of it all just comes crashing down.

Our ECHR case is finally progressing, so that's good news! It's been communicated to the Russian Federation, and they have until February 28th to respond. I honestly don't know how this is all going to pan out, but I'm thankful for the opportunity to give a voice to the orphans left in this mess. I honestly still believe there needs to be some sort of special needs amendment to the adoption ban. Of all the children with special needs who had met potential American parents, only a couple (two or three) have found other homes. I know things will change in Russia, but change is slow. In the meantime, I hope they have compassion for the children stuck in institutions with virtually no hope of finding Russian families. Regardless, I have to remain hopeful that the ECHR will give us a positive ruling. I have to have hope, because what else is there if there is no hope?