This Can't Happen

So I have had a lot of people tell me failed adoption stories lately.  How they were supposed to get this baby, but it fell through and they ended up with another baby that was supposed to be their baby all along.  I know these stories are meant to make me feel better, but let me tell you why they don't.
When people in the U.S. are adopting newborn babies, there are waiting lists of people willing to take the child.  When one family doesn't work out, another loving family does.  When the birth mom changes her mind and decides to keep the baby, the baby is still in a family.  I know it's not what the prospective family may have dreamed for the baby, but regardless, the baby will still have a mom.
Now let me tell you about Dasha.  She was given up at birth simply because she has Down syndrome.  Her mother had two other children.  She had prenatal care and all signs point to the fact that this was a wanted, planned pregnancy.  Then, the day after Dasha was born, her parents signed away their parental rights.  The grandparents and aunts and uncles did as well.  She was unwanted.
When we went to Russia to meet Dasha, nobody could believe we wanted this child.  Do you know why?  Because there has NEVER been a child adopted from this Region with Down syndrome before.  Ever.  We were questioned like you wouldn't believe!
So let me ask you this.  If we aren't allowed to adopt her, who will?  The answer?  Nobody.  This beautiful, precious child of God will never know the love of a family.  She will never go to school.  She will never experience the outdoors.  She won't ever get to be in water (they sponge bathe them).  She won't even learn to eat, really.  She won't ever be special to anybody.  Here is a blog post from a family that adopted a 5 year old boy from Russia a year and a half ago.  Here is where Dasha will end up in 2.5 years if we're not allowed to adopt her.

Click Here to Read About It

This is in a different region than Dasha, but in the end, does that matter?  The institutions are all fairly similar.  So her fate?  She will most likely be dead in 3-4 years.  

I can't even begin to tell you how this tears my heart out.  A life never lived.  I cannot let this happen.  To us, she is our child.  We met her.  We loved her, and she loved us.  She is a bright, happy child full of life and brimming with potential.  We are doing absolutely everything in our power to bring this child to the family that already loves her.  

At this point, there's nothing too new to report.  The Supreme Court made their ruling today that those who had completed court by December 31, 2012 could go home.  They made no mention of families in process other than those who have completed court.  There is an opportunity to join a lawsuit in European Court.  We are seriously considering this.  For now, though, we beg for your continued prayers.  This has been the most emotionally and spiritually exhausting experience of our lives.  Our nerves are beyond frayed.  We aren't going to give up, though, and right now the only thing we can do is pray.  We have continued work on our court dossier, and it is almost complete.  We are working on a few last papers and are waiting for our FBI fingerprints to come back.  We have emailed all the papers that are complete up to this point to our facilitator, who is currently translating them.  We remain hopeful that by some crazy miracle, we might have a court date.  And we continue to pray like maniacs.

Thank you for your continued support.  It truly means the world to us at this time! 

Can You Hear the People Sing?

Crazy things are happening in Russia, folks!  First of all, people are scared.  In this article, it describes some of the insane laws that the Duma is working to pass.  A quote from the article says, "Having captured the world's attention in December by banning all adoptions of Russian children by American families, members of Parliament have dreamed up a variety of further proposals to purge Russian politics and civic life of foreign influences."  Laws that would limit travel, study abroad, owning assets abroad, laws about screening movies, laws about criticizing the government on television, etc.  One member of the Duma, Aleksei Makarkin, said, "You know, there is principle in questions of patriotism or protecting the interests of the country, as the authorities see it, that it's better to overdo it than to show weakness.  If you try too hard and come up with some exotic, scandalous draft law, you are in any case one of us.  Maybe you are too emotional-you're a patriot."  Yikes.  
Last year when elected, President Putin said that if there was ever a petition against a law that had more than 100,000 signatures, the Duma would need to reevaluate the law.  There are over 120,000 signatures on a petition against the ban of adoptions, and the lawmakers have rejected the call to review the law.  They are stating that "there is nothing to discuss" because the appeal didn't comprise a "legislative initiative". 

Things are looking grim for the Russian people.  There are many comparisons to a Cold War Russia.  They do not have the same freedoms we enjoy here.  People cannot speak out, their voices are not heard.  Officials are wanting to shut out influences from around the world and focus inward only.  Despite all this political unrest, something amazing happened yesterday.  

Organizers of a march against the American adoption ban got permission to hold a march yesterday in Moscow.  In frigid temperatures with soldier lined streets, protesters showed up in the tens of thousands.  

 You can read all about the march here.  Protesters called it the "March against Scoundrels".  Protesters chanted "take your hands off children" and carried posters of lawmakers with the word "shame" stamped across them.  It is estimated anywhere from 20-40,000 people showed up.  This to me is absolutely incredible.  It was 12 degrees F.  I'm sure officials took the names of people marching and protesting.  They took risk to themselves to try to have their voices be heard.  They took the risk for their orphaned children.  It makes me happy that, at the very least, awareness is being raised about the conditions their orphans are living in.  Things truly do need to change from the inside, or conditions will remain the same.  One woman said, "They expected that, as usual, we would swallow it, keep quiet.  We have had two weeks to think about this law, and not everyone understood right away, but as time passed, people realized what it means to leave invalids, sick children in Russia, where there is no help.  Everyone knows what kind of medicine we have here."  

A friend of mine got to Moscow yesterday for their "gotcha trip" (meaning the trip where they get to bring their boy home).  Things are still sketchy as to whether Russia's going to let them go or not.  Here is what she had to say this morning about the march, "Just visited with our boy. I had to tell you about our talk with our facilitator. She was at the protest with her family and she said it has been like a war here, and they feel like soldiers. She said at one point, there was a helicopter over the protest, and part of her thought they might bomb the protesters. In her mind, she said, she was willing to die for this cause! Can you believe that? She also says that everyone, the judges, the Ministry of Education, etc are all on our side. I asked her about the amendment and she said, "we can only hope". She had tears in her eyes when she told us about the protesters, many who were rich people. Some had brought their children. She said the signs were not all political, many were just pleas of parents. One mother had her daughter on her shoulders. Her daughter was holding a sign with some words from a popular children's poem that talked about how even when children play hide-and-seek, their parents will ALWAYS find them. Her mother held a sign that said "children don't know borders." We both had tears in our eyes as we talked about this, and I told her how all of us at home are praying and holding on to any shred of news we can get."

It gives me the chills!  I love how people are fighting back!  Similar marches (though not as big) were held in 7 other cities throughout Russia.  I have been singing the Les Mis song, "Can you Hear the People Sing" in my head for two days now.  These people are our only hope!  If they can speak loud enough, their voices might be heard.  This article, if you're interested, is very interesting.  It's about Putin and his choke hold on Russia.  This march might be about an adoption ban, but Russians have worked too hard for their freedom.  They can't let this evil man take hold of their country and freedom again! 

As far as the adoption ban goes, we don't know any more information yet.  Supposedly the Duma and the Ministry of Education were meeting today, but nothing has been reported on how the meeting went.  We are all waiting for word from Russian Supreme Court.  It would take a miracle, but they have the power to overturn this law.  At the very least, we're praying they grant an exception for families that have already met their child.  In a country that's all about "image", all we can do is pray they find a way to overturn this law in a way that upholds theirs.  These are crazy times indeed.  

Our Red Sea

**If I know you (or you’re a friend of a friend) and you're reading this and don't have an invitation to our private blog, message me!  Lots of cute pictures of Dasha in this post on our private blog!

So I'm not going to lie, things have been looking pretty grim around here lately.  We had pretty much given up hope the last few days.  The special needs amendment was proposed to the Duma, and then the exact same day, the author of the amendment stated that he would probably be retracting it.  I had been holding on to that amendment for hope SO tightly!  I was starting to lost confidence.  I was fearful.  I was losing hope. 

Then a dear adoption friend recommended last night that we watch this talk given by Elder Holland at a BYU devotional in 1999 entitled "Cast Not Therefore Your Confidence".  We watched it and decided our attitudes needed changing immediately!  Here is the first quote from Elder Holland's talk that really caught my attention, "I wish to encourage every one of you today regarding opposition that so often comes after enlightened decisions have been made, after moments of revelation and conviction have given us a peace and an assurance we thought we would never lose."  We indeed have felt such enlightenment and such revelation throughout this journey.  We can't deny it was from God.  We were sent on this journey right at the time we were.  We felt urgency.  We were led to the country, the region, the child.  We have been led every step of the way.  We have had every penny we needed right when we needed it.  We have had doors opened, prayers offered, love given.  We were given travel dates that gave us our first trip right before the ban because of our timing (which might just save our tails in the end).  We cannot deny or forget this.   We have seen miracle after miracle occur.  And now comes opposition, in the form of a demonic dictator.  I know Satan has his hand in this situation.  For real.  Decisions made out of pride and ego are not of God.  

Elder Holland goes on to say, "The reminder is that we cannot sign on for a moment of such eternal significance and everlasting consequence without knowing it will be a fight—a good fight and a winning fight, but a fight nevertheless.  Then came this tremendous counsel, which is at the heart of my counsel to you and the title of my remarks this morning: Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward.  For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. . . .

. . . If any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. . . .

. . . We are not of them who draw back unto perdition. [Hebrews 10:35–36, 38–39; emphasis added]"  Paul said, but don't "draw back," he warned. Don't panic and retreat. Don't lose your confidence. Don't forget how you once felt. Don't distrust the experience you had. That tenacity is what saved Moses when the adversary confronted him, and it is what will save you."

Now, it's not that we were giving up.  We will fight this thing as long as we possibly can.  I honestly did question our decisions along the way, though.  I would ask myself, "Did I really have those feelings, or did I just think I did.  Were we really led to this point?"  I was second guessing God's hand in this adoption.  And my hope?  It was all but gone. 

This is my favorite quote from the talk, "Yes, there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts."

I have to say, I know that we might not be able to bring Dasha/Meg home.  I know that there are many miracles still that would need to happen in order for us to be able to proceed.  But!  We are going to pray our hearts out and have complete faith that the Lord will provide a way.  Because we were not sent on this journey for nothing.  We were not led to Dasha for no reason.  Right at this moment, we believe the reason is because she is supposed to be in our family in this earthly life.  If we are wrong, there are other reasons as to why we traveled to her that we are not aware of.  In the mean time, though, 100% of our energy and faith is going to the fact that we think she will somehow, someway be brought into our family.  That we were led to her by the hand of God.  And no matter what the outcome of the adoption, we can never again deny this.  "Some, just like those Paul had described earlier, said, "Let's go back. This isn't worth it. We must have been wrong. That probably wasn't the right spirit telling us to leave Egypt." What they actually said to Moses was, "Wherefore hast thou dealt thus with us, to carry us forth out of Egypt? . . . It had been better for us to serve the Egyptians, than that we should die in the wilderness" (Exodus 14:10–12).

And I have to say, "What about that which has already happened? What about the miracles that got you here? What about the frogs and the lice? What about the rod and the serpent, the river and the blood? What about the hail, the locusts, the fire, and the firstborn sons?"

We have experienced miracles already, so why wouldn't God part our red sea, too?  Why wouldn't he soften the hearts of the leaders (or, if their hearts are beyond softening, even entice them using the things they lust after, like greed and power?)

Elder Holland goes on to say, "The third lesson from the Lord's spirit of revelation in the miracle of the crossing of the Red Sea is that, along with the illuminating revelation that points us toward a righteous purpose or duty, God will also provide the means and power to achieve that purpose. Trust in that eternal truth. If God has told you something is right, if something is indeed true for you, he will provide the way for you to accomplish it."  Bingo!  We were absolutely told this was the right thing to do.  We have been led more than I am even comfortable publicly telling you!  Here is our answer!  We proceed with faith!

"It is that in the process of revelation and in making important decisions, fear almost always plays a destructive, sometimes paralyzing role." Yes, yes it does.  But not anymore.  We will proceed knowing it is in God's hands.  "And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord. . . . The Lord shall fight for you."

The closing paragraph of Elder Holland's talk says, "I acknowledge the reality of opposition and adversity, but I bear witness of the God of Glory, of the redeeming Son of God, of light and hope and a bright future. I promise you that God lives and loves you, each one of you, and that he has set bounds and limits to the opposing powers of darkness. I testify that Jesus is the Christ, the victor over death and hell and the fallen one who schemes there. The gospel of Jesus Christ is true, and it has been restored, just as we have sung and testified this morning.

"Fear ye not." And when the second and the third and the fourth blows come, "fear ye not. . . . The Lord shall fight for you." "Cast not away therefore your confidence."

Our confidence, from this point forward, will be not cast away!

Now, for an update on what's going on.  There are such mixed reports.  Today the press secretary to the president in Meg's country said that the treaty is in effect until January, 2014 because when it was signed in July, both countries agreed that they would give the other country a year's notice if they wanted out of the treaty.  We were super duper excited for a few minutes, until it was revealed that just because the treaty is in effect doesn't mean that we will be able to proceed with the adoption.  In fact, it was stated that those who have passed court will be able to get their kids home, but no one else.  In the Department of State press conference today, though, they said they were "hopeful" and didn't want to define what "families in process" meant, because they are negotiating to try and get as many families their kids as possible.  We are hopeful that the DOS will be able to negotiate for us.

Meg's country is waiting on their supreme court to make a decision about how to implement the adoption ban law.  I suppose it's up to them to decide what "in process" means and to fine tune the law in practical terms.  We are hopeful that they will be reasonable in their decision.

So, that's what's up!  We covet your prayers at this time.  We know God is the only one who can make this happen.  Thanks for following along, and if you made it through that massive post, good work ;)  Oh, and watch the video of Elder Holland's full talk.  Totally worth it!!!