I've had a lot of people ask how they can help me right now, and I have a way! Please sign our petition! This is for the US government. They have been silent on the Russian adoption ban so far, and this petition is asking that they do all in their power to get this ban lifted for at least special needs kids. We need 25,000 signatures for it to be shown to the president, and we need all the help we can get in getting this petition out there for signatures! Please sign and share this link! Thank you so much!!
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/help-americans-save-lives-russian-children-through-adoption/3Vr3YCtX
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Friday, December 28, 2012
The Fight
So the Russian adoption ban was signed by President Putin and is now a law that will become effective January 1st. My heart has been aching all day long. I go from confident and peaceful, to nervous and weepy within minutes. I've been glued to my computer searching for news that will ease my pain. So far things aren't looking super promising. We have three outs we're hoping for. One is that there is some consideration (this is what the state department seems to be working on) that Russia will allow those already in process to finish their adoptions. Today we got messages from several adoption agencies that Russia would for sure let those who have already gone to court and whose 30 day wait it up by December 31 to come get their kids in January (because Russia shuts down starting tomorrow for their New Year/Christmas holidays). Because they will have their adoption decrees in 2012, they should be allowed to leave. I am happy for those few families, of whom I know two or three. There has also been talk in some regions that they will allow those who have traveled once to complete their adoptions. This is much more in the air and seems to be a flimsy line of hope to hold on to. I'm grasping for all I'm worth, though!
The second idea I had been clinging to is that since Russia just signed an adoption agreement with the U.S. in July (it just became effective in November) that states if either side wishes to get out of the treaty, they must give the other country one year notice. This would give myself as well as all my friends in the process plenty of time to complete our adoptions. This, however, seems to not be valid, as the president indeed signed the bill and said it will become effective January 1st. I'm not sure what the U.S. response will be on this. So far there has been silence, as it seems the "fiscal cliff" has been more important in their minds than the Russian adoption issue. I don't blame them. I mean, of course the adoption fiasco is more important to me personally, but I understand. Hopefully when that's all dealt with, the White House's attention will turn to the Russian problem.
The other piece of news that has offered me the most comfort today comes from a member of the parliament that is in Putin's own political party. He tweeted last night that he is proposing an amendment to the ban that will allow adoptions of special needs children. The Russian Orthodox Church backs this amendment, and has spoken out that they believe special needs children should be allowed to be adopted by the United States, as we are the only country adopting these children. Apparently the Kremlin traditionally listens to the church's opinions, so perhaps they will listen to these ideas. This is what I am personally hoping for, as this will allow many more children to be adopted than just the ones whose prospective parents have already traveled.
In the end, it is up to the Lord. He is the performer of miracles. He turned water into wine. He healed the lepers. He made the blind to see, the deaf to hear. He brought Lazarus back from the dead. Surely he can change the minds of the officials and amend the law. Throughout this journey, our path has been paved by God. We know that Heavenly Father and Jesus hold these children in their hearts. They are loved more than we can imagine. We have had more spiritual experiences, more feelings of peace, more happiness than ever before in our lives these last six months. We were led to Russia at this exact time. We were led to Meg because she is meant to be ours. I don't doubt this. I will admit I have had several moments of falter today, but I do believe this in my heart and will continue forward with faith.
We will forge on with our court dossier as though nothing has happened. In fact, here are some documents for court that we mailed yesterday!
The second idea I had been clinging to is that since Russia just signed an adoption agreement with the U.S. in July (it just became effective in November) that states if either side wishes to get out of the treaty, they must give the other country one year notice. This would give myself as well as all my friends in the process plenty of time to complete our adoptions. This, however, seems to not be valid, as the president indeed signed the bill and said it will become effective January 1st. I'm not sure what the U.S. response will be on this. So far there has been silence, as it seems the "fiscal cliff" has been more important in their minds than the Russian adoption issue. I don't blame them. I mean, of course the adoption fiasco is more important to me personally, but I understand. Hopefully when that's all dealt with, the White House's attention will turn to the Russian problem.
The other piece of news that has offered me the most comfort today comes from a member of the parliament that is in Putin's own political party. He tweeted last night that he is proposing an amendment to the ban that will allow adoptions of special needs children. The Russian Orthodox Church backs this amendment, and has spoken out that they believe special needs children should be allowed to be adopted by the United States, as we are the only country adopting these children. Apparently the Kremlin traditionally listens to the church's opinions, so perhaps they will listen to these ideas. This is what I am personally hoping for, as this will allow many more children to be adopted than just the ones whose prospective parents have already traveled.
In the end, it is up to the Lord. He is the performer of miracles. He turned water into wine. He healed the lepers. He made the blind to see, the deaf to hear. He brought Lazarus back from the dead. Surely he can change the minds of the officials and amend the law. Throughout this journey, our path has been paved by God. We know that Heavenly Father and Jesus hold these children in their hearts. They are loved more than we can imagine. We have had more spiritual experiences, more feelings of peace, more happiness than ever before in our lives these last six months. We were led to Russia at this exact time. We were led to Meg because she is meant to be ours. I don't doubt this. I will admit I have had several moments of falter today, but I do believe this in my heart and will continue forward with faith.
We will forge on with our court dossier as though nothing has happened. In fact, here are some documents for court that we mailed yesterday!
We will press through and pray harder than we ever have in our lives. We would be honored if you would pray along side us. We cannot thank you enough for your kind words and support! They are lifting us up right now!
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Broken
I am sitting in the plane on our way home from our first visit to Meg/Dasha's country. I know the opinions of the people there are negative towards people with Down syndrome, but I thought that perhaps it was just in raising them for their own. I thought that surely they wouldn't see a fault in someone else wanting to raise a child with Ds. I am sickened by the response we received. It started at the Department of Education. We were asked question after question after question. The woman, I think, thought we didn't understand the diagnosis. We kept trying to politely inform her that just because her perception of the abilities of people with Down syndrome might be one thing, that in fact they can accomplish so much more! They can go to school and read and write and learn everything anyone else can, just at a slower pace. They can go to college. They can have jobs. They can be healthy and happy and have lives. They can be in families and love and be loved. The Minister of Education was shocked at this. I don't know that she believed us. And furthermore, our facilitator and translator was no better. They would ask the same questions over and over again. It was exhausting and so offensive! "We are just trying to understand why you would want a child like this! Why not one with HIV or Hepatitis? Why, when you already have three kids of your own, do you want another child, and one like this!?"
At the orphanage, the director and head doctor (who is the same person) gave us Dasha's whole history and medical background. Her mother had obstetrical care throughout her pregnancy. It was her third pregnancy and she is married got the father. From all signs it was a wanted and planned pregnancy. They relinquished all parental rights the day after she was born and never looked back. Dasha went straight to the orphanage from the hospital. I'm sure they mourned and still mourn the loss of this child. I can't help but think that every mother in the world loves the child she carries. It makes me so, so sad for her family that they don't have her in their lives. They will never know how incredible she is. I know the hurt of leaving her after three visits, and it makes my momma heart hurt all the more for the emptiness her birth mother's heart must feel. This is what needs to change in this country. They need an education program for the birth parents so they stop placing these kids in orphanages. The society as a whole needs to change or this problem will never get better. If only we could help on this front. After the director finished telling us about her notes, we told her we had a present for the orphanage from our children and nieces and nephews. They have decorated bags and filled them with pajamas, underwear, socks, toothbrushes, etc. She was shocked to hear we have kids and immediately started the same line of questioning as the Minister of Education the day before. It's like she could understand if we didn't have kids and were desperate enough to take ANY child we could get, but why of we have kids already would we want "this sort of child". I had to just sit quietly. I couldn't answer these questions again. These questions disgust me. Especially from someone that works with the kids every day. You would think she of all people would develop a love and compassion after knowing so many Ds kids personally. Quin did a good job fielding all these questions as I sat quietly biting my lip.
I tried very hard to win our facilitator over. As we played with Dasha and it was evident she could learn and was, quite frankly, the smiliest, happiest, giggliest baby ever, I thought that maybe she would see that this was just a child. A baby like any other. I would mention, when the facilitator would talk of how Dasha seemed to enjoy dancing, how there is a dance class for kids with special needs near our house. I was signing a few things to Dasha and explained to our facilitator how sign language is beneficial to all toddlers, but particularly to toddlers with Down syndrome, as it gives them a way to communicate before they are able to vocally. I taught it to my other three children as toddlers, and Dasha will learn it, too! "Oh, really!?" She asked questions about life expectancy (it's currently 60 in the US vs 30 in their country) for people with Ds. She asked about education. On our last visit she even said, "Dasha is really pretty when she smiles." Although I was quite offended, because she's pretty all the time, smiling or not, I know it's progress. Baby steps. I just feel such a strong Mamma bear instinct for this little one. I hate the perception that she's less than! She is incredible, and so much more than they know! Some part of me is hopeful that through this process, including the years of post placement reports we are required to do, that maybe a few minds and hearts can be softened and changed. Just maybe.
At the orphanage, the director and head doctor (who is the same person) gave us Dasha's whole history and medical background. Her mother had obstetrical care throughout her pregnancy. It was her third pregnancy and she is married got the father. From all signs it was a wanted and planned pregnancy. They relinquished all parental rights the day after she was born and never looked back. Dasha went straight to the orphanage from the hospital. I'm sure they mourned and still mourn the loss of this child. I can't help but think that every mother in the world loves the child she carries. It makes me so, so sad for her family that they don't have her in their lives. They will never know how incredible she is. I know the hurt of leaving her after three visits, and it makes my momma heart hurt all the more for the emptiness her birth mother's heart must feel. This is what needs to change in this country. They need an education program for the birth parents so they stop placing these kids in orphanages. The society as a whole needs to change or this problem will never get better. If only we could help on this front. After the director finished telling us about her notes, we told her we had a present for the orphanage from our children and nieces and nephews. They have decorated bags and filled them with pajamas, underwear, socks, toothbrushes, etc. She was shocked to hear we have kids and immediately started the same line of questioning as the Minister of Education the day before. It's like she could understand if we didn't have kids and were desperate enough to take ANY child we could get, but why of we have kids already would we want "this sort of child". I had to just sit quietly. I couldn't answer these questions again. These questions disgust me. Especially from someone that works with the kids every day. You would think she of all people would develop a love and compassion after knowing so many Ds kids personally. Quin did a good job fielding all these questions as I sat quietly biting my lip.
I tried very hard to win our facilitator over. As we played with Dasha and it was evident she could learn and was, quite frankly, the smiliest, happiest, giggliest baby ever, I thought that maybe she would see that this was just a child. A baby like any other. I would mention, when the facilitator would talk of how Dasha seemed to enjoy dancing, how there is a dance class for kids with special needs near our house. I was signing a few things to Dasha and explained to our facilitator how sign language is beneficial to all toddlers, but particularly to toddlers with Down syndrome, as it gives them a way to communicate before they are able to vocally. I taught it to my other three children as toddlers, and Dasha will learn it, too! "Oh, really!?" She asked questions about life expectancy (it's currently 60 in the US vs 30 in their country) for people with Ds. She asked about education. On our last visit she even said, "Dasha is really pretty when she smiles." Although I was quite offended, because she's pretty all the time, smiling or not, I know it's progress. Baby steps. I just feel such a strong Mamma bear instinct for this little one. I hate the perception that she's less than! She is incredible, and so much more than they know! Some part of me is hopeful that through this process, including the years of post placement reports we are required to do, that maybe a few minds and hearts can be softened and changed. Just maybe.
Friday, December 21, 2012
'Til We Meet Again
Our last day in country. So very sad. Don't get me wrong, I'm ready to get home. I miss my kids, I miss my culture, I miss my home. I miss the clean air act. It's just that I'm ready to go home with our little one with us, not leaving her stuck in this cold, lonely place. I hated to say goodbye. The whole time we were there this afternoon, we could hear kids crying. One tiny, screaming new born haunted me as I tried to play with Dasha. For at least 45 minutes that tiny scream wailed on. I longed to go find the poor thing and hold him or her. I know it's supposedly a good sign that they cry, but it felt very depressing to me today. I couldn't help but wonder how many times our precious little Dasha has been made to cry and wait, her needs never being attended to. The nannies seem to love her, but there are just so many children and not enough nannies. So leaving her hurts not only because we love her and want her with us, but also because we aren't leaving her in a good place. Her poor chappy skin, her soggy diaper, her runny nose, her deep, raspy cough. She needs her Mama and Papa, and we need her.
We had a nice day today before our orphanage visit. We only got one visit today because our facilitator (who doubles as a cardiologist) had to work today. Since we had all day until 3:30 with nothing to do, our cutest hotel ladies took us again to a souvenir shop and helped us buy everything we need before going home. Then they took us to an authentic restaurant to get "Borscht". That's beet soup and is very popular here. It was delicious, and their company was great. I really like these ladies. We'll be staying here again next time we come for sure!!
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| Here we are outside the restaurant. |
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| All of us. They are the cutest! The one in front is Alena, and her mother is behind her. They are so lovely and nice! |
Our flight leaves at 6:20 in the morning, so we'd better get packing and get to bed! Paka for now, cold country! And, unfortunately, paka for now, Dasha! We love you forever, and may God be with you 'til we meet again!
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Best Day!!
***We are not supposed to share publically any pictures of our child, as she is not technically our child yet. Her country is very private with their children, and out of respect for those laws (and also to keep ourselves from getting into any trouble and risking in any way our adoption), we are setting up a private blog to post pictures and video. We would love for you to be able to access our private blog, so just email me at whitneybarrus@yahoo.com, let me know who you are and how you found the blog, and I'll add you to the list!***
I woke up this morning with major anxiety. What if this child we were referred was severely delayed or had other problems. This could change our lives forever. I even had some very un-Christ like thoughts of, "What if she's not even cute at all!?". I kept praying all morning that these feelings would go away. After a while, I realized that what we had been preaching this entire adoption process remained true: every child deserves a home. No matter what. Whatever they look like, whatever their delays or problems, they deserve a mom and a dad who love them unconditionally. I can never deny that we have been set on this path by our Father in Heaven. Led every single step of the way. I was reminded this morning that these are all His children. We are all His children. He loves us and wants us to be happy, and he loves the least of these children as well. I knew that no matter who this child was, we could and would love her. We would be her parents forever, whatever he earthly challenges might be. I felt very at peace and knew everything would be okay.
After a breakfast, we were picked up at 9:20 by our facilitator and driver.
We put some awesome booties over our boots and went upstairs to meet with the director. The orphanage director is also a pediatrician, so she was able to tell us Dasha's entire medical history. So our child's real name is Daria, but Dasha is the nickname for Daria. They seem to have a very good medical history! She had an open oval atrium defect, but it has closed on its own. She is otherwise healthy! She has strabismus (basically lazy eye) in her left eye. The orphanage director told us that she does not walk or talk, but that is considered normal in a child with Down syndrome. Her birthday is in May. She will be two then, so she is currently almost 19 months. They said that in general, she seems very alert and smart, even compared to other children with Down syndrome. I was so relieved at this moment! Her mother had good obstetrical care during the pregnancy and seems to have a stable home life. Her parents gave her up at birth because of her diagnosis of Down syndrome. She went straight to the orphanage from the hospital. If only they knew what they were missing out on!
After the whole medical history, we gave the donation to the orphanage (our kids and nieces and nephews on Quin's side decorated bags on Thanksgiving and filled them with underwear, socks, pajamas, and toothbrushes for the children at the orphanage) as well as a present to the orphanage director and nannies.
The director seems like a very nice lady and even smiled quite a bit, which is very odd in this country!!! They are generally not too friendly here and are very guarded with their emotions. We were asked several questions about why we are adopting a child with "this condition". We have been asked this so many times that I'm exhausted of this question. I knew we would be asked this a lot, but I just wasn't prepared for millions of follow up questions and looks you would give a person that just told you the sky was green. EVERYONE we have encountered in this city thinks we are insane for wanting this child. The answer I want to give to the question, "Why do you want this kind of child" is "What kind of child? A beautiful, smiling, happy, loving, giggly, full of life child? Because why wouldn't I want to adopt this kind of child!?!?" Instead, I let Quin answer the questions ;) It's just better that way.
Anyhow, we went upstairs at this point into a really cute little playroom. They are preparing for a New Year's celebration to be held on December 26th. They were cutting out darling little paper snowflakes and they had Christmas decorations all around. The workers all left and we waited for a bit for them to bring her in. The orphanage director is the one that brought her in. She was holding Dasha's hands and she walked in. My heart melted. It was just like when I saw my other three kids for the first time. Absolute and pure love at first sight!! I immediately started crying and just couldn't believe how lucky I was to be able to be her Mama some day! She is perfect. Beautiful, happy, innocent, and perfect. The visit was exactly what I needed to cement in my head that this is the child that is meant to be ours. We will do whatever it takes from this point forward to make that a reality!
She was not super cuddly at first (she seemed to want to, but it would only last two seconds and she would try to escape. I think probably she's just not used to this kind of affection and it's overwhelming to her), but funny enough, she loves to hold hands. If ever I got a hand free to play with a toy, she would try to grab my hand again. You can tell she hasn't had much of a chance to play with toys before, because she really didn't know what to do with them. After about 30 seconds in Papa's arms, though, and she was giggling like you wouldn't believe! Her whole face lights up with delight and we were smitten! We had so much fun playing and laughing, and by the end, she was my cuddle bug! She wanted to be held and snuggled! The funniest thing to me was by the end of our visit, you could tell she was getting very sleepy. She was sitting on my lap, then all of the sudden she just feel asleep! I got to put her on my shoulder and soak up every single second until the nanny came in to get her. For the first time in her short little life, she had a Mama to fall asleep on. She is the sweetest little bug!!! I just wanted to run out of there with her and never have to look back. I HATE that I have to wait four more months to be able hold her forever.
As far as my physical assessment of her, the first thing I noticed was her extremely dry, cracked skin. It is so sad! All over her face and hands (so pretty much all the skin I saw) was so dry it felt like alligator skin! I kept thinking, "Dang, next time I'm bringing the Aquafor!". I seriously can't wait to get that poor dry skin cleared up! Also, she had lots of blood behind one ear. As I looked closer, it was all scratched up. Her nails were kind of long, so I bet it itches back there (because seriously, it's too dry!!!) and she scratches it enough to draw blood. Poor thing! Also, her head has been shaved. In the picture we saw from November, she had hair. Now it's all buzzed off :( I don't know that we'll be able to find out why, but I did ask my facilitator. She has some weird sores on her head, so it was hypothesized that perhaps she had some sort of infection on her head and that's why they shaved it. Bummer.
We came home from the first visit, went to lunch, then got ready for our next visit. The orphanage is about 45 minutes away from our hotel (mostly because of traffic). Our driver came to get us at 3:30 and we got to the orphanage at 4:15. We had a relatively quick second visit, but it was fun! She was loving being cuddled right from the start of this visit! The best part was that we got out a blanket we brought for her and showed her twice how to do peek-a-boo. From then on, she would grab the blanket, throw it over her head, wait for you to say, "Where's Dasha?", then she's pull it down and laugh like crazy. Cutest thing ever!! One thing I did notice was crying coming from a nearby room. This is actually really good news! Kids that are neglected will quickly learn that crying doesn't do a thing, and they stop. They turn their emotions inward and do things to self soothe, like rock, bang their head, or bite their hands. The fact that a child was crying meant that they aren't being neglected too severely and was quite a relief!! Our second visit wasn't super long, but it was long enough to love on her some more! She is amazing!!
Tomorrow our facilitator (whose other job is as a cardiologist. Seriously. I couldn't make this stuff up!) has to work, so we can't go to the orphanage in the morning :( We will go again in the afternoon, though, and sign some papers saying yes, we for sure want to adopt this child!!
Thank you everyone for following our journey! We still need some prayers that the battling between our government and Dasha's government will not prevent us from adopting her! Thank you!!
I woke up this morning with major anxiety. What if this child we were referred was severely delayed or had other problems. This could change our lives forever. I even had some very un-Christ like thoughts of, "What if she's not even cute at all!?". I kept praying all morning that these feelings would go away. After a while, I realized that what we had been preaching this entire adoption process remained true: every child deserves a home. No matter what. Whatever they look like, whatever their delays or problems, they deserve a mom and a dad who love them unconditionally. I can never deny that we have been set on this path by our Father in Heaven. Led every single step of the way. I was reminded this morning that these are all His children. We are all His children. He loves us and wants us to be happy, and he loves the least of these children as well. I knew that no matter who this child was, we could and would love her. We would be her parents forever, whatever he earthly challenges might be. I felt very at peace and knew everything would be okay.
After a breakfast, we were picked up at 9:20 by our facilitator and driver.
It is crazy because it doesn't get light here in the winter until about 11:00 in the morning. It's so confusing! It feels so early, yet it's almost lunch time! We made it to the orphanage by 10:00, which was when our appointment was, and headed inside.
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| This is the outside of the orphanage later this afternoon when it was actually light |
After the whole medical history, we gave the donation to the orphanage (our kids and nieces and nephews on Quin's side decorated bags on Thanksgiving and filled them with underwear, socks, pajamas, and toothbrushes for the children at the orphanage) as well as a present to the orphanage director and nannies.
The director seems like a very nice lady and even smiled quite a bit, which is very odd in this country!!! They are generally not too friendly here and are very guarded with their emotions. We were asked several questions about why we are adopting a child with "this condition". We have been asked this so many times that I'm exhausted of this question. I knew we would be asked this a lot, but I just wasn't prepared for millions of follow up questions and looks you would give a person that just told you the sky was green. EVERYONE we have encountered in this city thinks we are insane for wanting this child. The answer I want to give to the question, "Why do you want this kind of child" is "What kind of child? A beautiful, smiling, happy, loving, giggly, full of life child? Because why wouldn't I want to adopt this kind of child!?!?" Instead, I let Quin answer the questions ;) It's just better that way.
Anyhow, we went upstairs at this point into a really cute little playroom. They are preparing for a New Year's celebration to be held on December 26th. They were cutting out darling little paper snowflakes and they had Christmas decorations all around. The workers all left and we waited for a bit for them to bring her in. The orphanage director is the one that brought her in. She was holding Dasha's hands and she walked in. My heart melted. It was just like when I saw my other three kids for the first time. Absolute and pure love at first sight!! I immediately started crying and just couldn't believe how lucky I was to be able to be her Mama some day! She is perfect. Beautiful, happy, innocent, and perfect. The visit was exactly what I needed to cement in my head that this is the child that is meant to be ours. We will do whatever it takes from this point forward to make that a reality!
She was not super cuddly at first (she seemed to want to, but it would only last two seconds and she would try to escape. I think probably she's just not used to this kind of affection and it's overwhelming to her), but funny enough, she loves to hold hands. If ever I got a hand free to play with a toy, she would try to grab my hand again. You can tell she hasn't had much of a chance to play with toys before, because she really didn't know what to do with them. After about 30 seconds in Papa's arms, though, and she was giggling like you wouldn't believe! Her whole face lights up with delight and we were smitten! We had so much fun playing and laughing, and by the end, she was my cuddle bug! She wanted to be held and snuggled! The funniest thing to me was by the end of our visit, you could tell she was getting very sleepy. She was sitting on my lap, then all of the sudden she just feel asleep! I got to put her on my shoulder and soak up every single second until the nanny came in to get her. For the first time in her short little life, she had a Mama to fall asleep on. She is the sweetest little bug!!! I just wanted to run out of there with her and never have to look back. I HATE that I have to wait four more months to be able hold her forever.
As far as my physical assessment of her, the first thing I noticed was her extremely dry, cracked skin. It is so sad! All over her face and hands (so pretty much all the skin I saw) was so dry it felt like alligator skin! I kept thinking, "Dang, next time I'm bringing the Aquafor!". I seriously can't wait to get that poor dry skin cleared up! Also, she had lots of blood behind one ear. As I looked closer, it was all scratched up. Her nails were kind of long, so I bet it itches back there (because seriously, it's too dry!!!) and she scratches it enough to draw blood. Poor thing! Also, her head has been shaved. In the picture we saw from November, she had hair. Now it's all buzzed off :( I don't know that we'll be able to find out why, but I did ask my facilitator. She has some weird sores on her head, so it was hypothesized that perhaps she had some sort of infection on her head and that's why they shaved it. Bummer.
We came home from the first visit, went to lunch, then got ready for our next visit. The orphanage is about 45 minutes away from our hotel (mostly because of traffic). Our driver came to get us at 3:30 and we got to the orphanage at 4:15. We had a relatively quick second visit, but it was fun! She was loving being cuddled right from the start of this visit! The best part was that we got out a blanket we brought for her and showed her twice how to do peek-a-boo. From then on, she would grab the blanket, throw it over her head, wait for you to say, "Where's Dasha?", then she's pull it down and laugh like crazy. Cutest thing ever!! One thing I did notice was crying coming from a nearby room. This is actually really good news! Kids that are neglected will quickly learn that crying doesn't do a thing, and they stop. They turn their emotions inward and do things to self soothe, like rock, bang their head, or bite their hands. The fact that a child was crying meant that they aren't being neglected too severely and was quite a relief!! Our second visit wasn't super long, but it was long enough to love on her some more! She is amazing!!
Tomorrow our facilitator (whose other job is as a cardiologist. Seriously. I couldn't make this stuff up!) has to work, so we can't go to the orphanage in the morning :( We will go again in the afternoon, though, and sign some papers saying yes, we for sure want to adopt this child!!
Thank you everyone for following our journey! We still need some prayers that the battling between our government and Dasha's government will not prevent us from adopting her! Thank you!!
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
One Step Closer
Today's breakfast menu was yummy and tasted good! We had that same cottage cheese stuff fried along with some salty cooked wheat (sort of like oatmeal, but with wheat instead). I am enjoying tasting some local foods! We asked our hotel lady (using Google translate) how to get into the city to buy souvenirs. She used Google translate to let us know that when her daughter got home, we would all go together. She is so very nice to us, even though we take up a lot of her time trying to understand each other. We rode around for a few minutes, then parked by the university. Her daughter was waiting for us there. She and her mother own the hotel and run it all by themselves. We found out that they work so very hard to keep their little hotel operating nicely and make a living for themselves. I'm happy we chose to stay here and help support them. We are planning on staying here at least the next trip as well. They even offered to take us on a tour of the city!
So we hopped in their car and we saw some interesting buildings and old houses out our windows. Our first stop was at the monastery. It was very cool. We went inside and there were a lot of people in there lighting candles and praying to saints (or whatever they are doing...I have no idea). It was very ornate and lovely, though.
After the monastery stop, we headed toward the artillery museum. This is the city where they used to manufacture all the artillery weapons for this country. We were outside quite a while looking at all the old tanks and missiles, and I seriously thought I might freeze to death! It was about -11 degrees F through all of this. SO COLD!!!!!!
After the artillery museum, our kind hotel ladies took us to the main hotel in this city that is sort of the city center. There was a mall acoss the street as well as gift shops in the hotel. We looked around and bought a few presents for our kids, then we needed to find lunch. Well, at the bottom of the mall there was a McDonald's. Seriously, even though the food there isn't the best, it is always nice to be able to walk into some place that doesn't understand you and you don't understand them, say "Big Mac", and be able to get food! This McDonald's was funny. The drive-thru was really a walk-thru!
We came home form our outing and got ready to go to the Education Department! You are supposed to look nice when you go there, so I put on a skirt and Quin wore a suit. We had a fun chat with Alena, who is the young woman that owns the hotel with her mother. She loves meeting new people and practicing her English. She is so very kind!
Once Oksana got here, I got yelled at for my shoe choice. They were simple flats, but both Alena and Oksana felt it very foolish to go out in weather like that with those shoes on. They can't have me catching pneumonia, after all! The funniest part of this is that the walking required was so very minimal! Just from one building to the car, then from the car to the building. I'm sure I could have handled it, but my Sorrel's with my skirt it was ;)
The Education Department was somewhat intimidating to me. They gave us our referral along with a picture. The picture is interesting. We'll have to see how tomorrow goes. Either she is quite delayed, or it's just a bad picture. Time will tell! We asked why she got referred to us, and they said because it's the only girl with Ds in the region under 2 that's available for international adoption at this time. There are more boys and older girls, but just one under 2. There is a baby that was born in May that will be eligible February 5th, but for now, we just have the option of the one child. This is very stressful to me. I'm sure it will be fine and in all honesty, every child needs a home. I just need to keep the faith that we have been led in this direction for a reason. We got asked a billion questions as to why we are doing this. It made me very, very, very sad. They just don't see the point in rescuing one of these children. We told of our friendships with adults with Ds, our friendships with other families that have children with Ds, the educational opportunities where we live, etc. They asked several times about our family support and just couldn't believe that everyone is on board and supportive. We answered all their questions, then were told at the end that they aren't sure how the judge will respond to this. They had to legally give us the referral, but the judge does not have to pass us in court. Also, the law pending about banning all U.S. adoptions here could affect us. We need lots of prayers in the coming months!! We also found out that our original little Victoria wasn't adopted after all. She's still in foster care. I am so overwhelmed with emotion tonight for so many reasons. Hopefully I get a good night's sleep tonight so the whole orphanage scene doesn't just push me right over the edge ;)
We talked some with Oksana about the situation for people born with Ds in this country. She said she knows of two families that kept their children and they are both adults now. There just simply wasn't the resources available to them.
After heading back to the hotel, we went to the grocery store to prepare for tomorrow. Juice boxes and bananas to go meet our girl tomorrow!!
We stopped at this hat shop in the way home from the store. We may or may not have purchased a present for our son there ;) I made Quin try this hat on just for fun. He looks like he's having fun, right!?
When we got back to the hotel, we told Alena that we wanted to try some palmini for dinner. They are dumplings that are a specialty here and we wanted to try some. Well, Alena's grandmother makes these and then they freeze them so they can be served to guests when they come! We ate a delicious, homemade dinner of palmini tonight. Yay! Here is cute Alana joining us for dinner.
Well, the day we've all been waiting for is tomorrow!! At 9:20 am, our facilitator will pick us up and we will head to the orphanage to meet with our child, the orphanage director, the doctor, and the nannies!!! Wish us luck!!
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
We're Here!!
We finally made it!! It's always an adventure traveling half way around the world, but we are having a good time so far! We left on Sunday morning and flew to LA where we had a 5 hour layover. Our plane ride to Meg's country was long! It was through the night and there were babies crying all night long. I was happy I wasn't the one in charge of any of them, too! There wasn't a lot of sleep to be had for anyone on the plane.
Tomorrow morning I am hoping to see the city and shop for souvenirs! This is where our daughter is from and it's important to soak up as much as we can and take as many pictures as possible! We have plans tomorrow afternoon to go to the Department of Education. We will go to the orphanage Thursday morning for our first visit!! We will have two visits on both Thursday and Friday, then we take the middle of the night flight back to the capital city on Saturday to make it home for Christmas!
So right now there is a brand new problem with relations between the U.S. government and the government in Meg' country. There is a bill that would ban U.S. adoptions from this country completely. Please pray that this doesn't happen!! These kids need us! Even if it's just special needs adoptions that they will allow, that would be okay (this is one idea being floated around with their government). Not that the other kids don't need families too, but they are more likely to be adopted by locals. This bill could go into effect as early as January 1, 2013. Please pray!!
Thanks for following along with our journey! Hopefully we'll know more tomorrow about our girl and get to see pictures!!!
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| Ready to leave on our first leg! |
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| This guy was siting next to us on the long plane ride. He looked exactly like Gru from Despicable Me!! I wish I could have gotten a picture from the front. His resemblance was uncanny! Even their accents are the same!! |
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| Coca Cola light!! Reminds us SO much of living in Austria when we first got married. So fun!! I don't know why it won't rotate this picture, but you get the point. |
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| Beautiful sunset |
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| The frozen capital city right before we landed. |
We arrived in the capital city and had a six or seven hour layover, so we rented a room at the airport in a "capsule hotel". It is a small room that has a bed, toilet, and shower. You rent it by the hour, so we paid for 4 hours. We took a nap and a quick shower, then walked around the airport. There was so much I wanted to buy! Hopefully on the way home once we have an empty bag (after we give all our presents and donations) we can do some serious airport shopping ;)
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| Our room in the capsule hotel. |
The flight to Meg's city was in the middle of the night. I don't know why, as it's just a 2 hour domestic flight, but whatever. There is a 2 hour time difference from the capital to the city where we are now, so we arrived at 5:30 am. All the other stops we had made up to this point we never had to go outside, so imagine our surprise when the airplane door opens and we have to walk outside! It was 25 degrees below zero!! We had short sleeves and no coats. Needless to say, all the natives were full on staring at us ;) Some of them were even pointing and laughing! I'll admit, we really were dumb Americans at that moment!
We had arranged with the hotel to have a driver pick us up. To our surprise Oksana, who is our facilitator through our adoption agency, was there as well with a different driver! We paid the driver from the hotel and rode with Oksana. Nothing like 2 drivers waiting to take you to your hotel to make you feel extra loved!
We went to sleep after we arrived at the hotel at like 7:00 am and didn't wake up until after 3:00 pm! Whoops!! We quickly showered and then set of to find a bank to change money. This is not as easy as it sounds! We were lucky the bank was nearby for 2 reasons. 1: It's impossible to get around when you can't even read the words let alone understand the language and not many people here speak English, and 2: it was so cold my nose hairs were frozen! There was a little mini grocery store next to the bank, so we stopped in and got some chips and soda. We got back to the hotel and planned on asking for a taxi to take us to get some dinner, but our sweet hotel lady was making us breakfast. Breakfast is included in our hotel, so I guess since we slept so late she still wanted to feed us. She is so very kind!
So what do you do when it's 5:30 pm, too cold to go outside, and you don't speak the language? Hide in your room and watch movies on your iPad, of course! We just barely did face time with the kids, so that was fun! It was so good to talk to them for a minute before school! I guess we'll be going to bed early tonight to try to get on the right schedule.Tomorrow morning I am hoping to see the city and shop for souvenirs! This is where our daughter is from and it's important to soak up as much as we can and take as many pictures as possible! We have plans tomorrow afternoon to go to the Department of Education. We will go to the orphanage Thursday morning for our first visit!! We will have two visits on both Thursday and Friday, then we take the middle of the night flight back to the capital city on Saturday to make it home for Christmas!
So right now there is a brand new problem with relations between the U.S. government and the government in Meg' country. There is a bill that would ban U.S. adoptions from this country completely. Please pray that this doesn't happen!! These kids need us! Even if it's just special needs adoptions that they will allow, that would be okay (this is one idea being floated around with their government). Not that the other kids don't need families too, but they are more likely to be adopted by locals. This bill could go into effect as early as January 1, 2013. Please pray!!
Thanks for following along with our journey! Hopefully we'll know more tomorrow about our girl and get to see pictures!!!
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Bittersweet
We found out today that our little Meg (whose real name is Victoria) was adopted. We don't know who adopted her, but if you remember from this post, we did know she was in foster care. I have been nervous ever since then that the family took her only for money and would dump her back in the orphanage once she was older and they were sick of her. I have checked the database in her country every single day to see if she made it back on there. I will admit that a part of me was holding out hope that we would get there and she would be available.
After finding out she was adopted, I have several emotions. First of all, I was happy. Yes, happy. I was happy that she has a family. I was relieved that they didn't take her for the money, but that they must love her. They don't get money for adopting. It also felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, because I feel that I am totally open now to whatever child is placed before us. They all need homes, and we will be honored to be the parents of any one of them. Before the news that she was adopted, I always felt like I was betraying her by leaving her. Now I know she is not the child that is supposed to be in our family. I know that we have been led on the exact path we have been because there is a child out there that is supposed to be in our family, and we would not have found her otherwise.
Of course I am also feeling very sad that we will never know Victoria. That we will never be able to tell her we love her and thank her for sending us on this journey. She will always have a place in my heart. Because of her, we are on our way in 3 1/2 days half way around the world to meet the little girl that will change our lives forever. And I simply can't wait.
After finding out she was adopted, I have several emotions. First of all, I was happy. Yes, happy. I was happy that she has a family. I was relieved that they didn't take her for the money, but that they must love her. They don't get money for adopting. It also felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, because I feel that I am totally open now to whatever child is placed before us. They all need homes, and we will be honored to be the parents of any one of them. Before the news that she was adopted, I always felt like I was betraying her by leaving her. Now I know she is not the child that is supposed to be in our family. I know that we have been led on the exact path we have been because there is a child out there that is supposed to be in our family, and we would not have found her otherwise.
Of course I am also feeling very sad that we will never know Victoria. That we will never be able to tell her we love her and thank her for sending us on this journey. She will always have a place in my heart. Because of her, we are on our way in 3 1/2 days half way around the world to meet the little girl that will change our lives forever. And I simply can't wait.
Friday, December 7, 2012
We Have Lift Off!!!
Well, dates for lift off anyway! Can you even believe this!? I can't! I'm sort of freaking out right now! We are leaving IN ONE WEEK!!!! You heard me right! We have 7 days to prepare everything we need for our first trip to meet our girl!!! Do you think I'm ready for Christmas yet? Nope. Do you think we have everything we need for our trip (or even know what we need, for that matter?) Nope. I'm over-the-moon excited, but also SO anxious! We'll need to speed through the next few days to get everything done! Who will our child be!? CAN'T WAIT to find out!!! I know there are a lot of exclamation points involved in this post, but that's because I'm so excited right now I can't even stand it!
Because of our late notice and traveling around Christmas (our travel dates are December 15-December 23), our tickets and Visas were insanely expensive! Oh well, how do you put a price on a child's life? We are flying directly from L.A. to Meg's country's capital city, then catching a connecting flight to her region. Well, the flights from Salt Lake to L.A. were $750 over these dates!!! What!? They are normally around $150, so this is insane! We have decided it is not worth $1500 for us to fly to L.A., so we are making the 12 hour drive. Crazy? Yup. Anything to save a buck these days ;) We are going to be dead tired, but we'll be home for Christmas!!
We booked our plane tickets a few days ago because prices were sky rocketing every few minutes. We knew it wasn't a sure deal that we would be traveling on these dates, but it would only be $90 to cancel our international flights. Worth it not to risk losing the chance to travel before the LONG January holiday! Well...because we sort of guesstimated the dates, we are arriving in Meg's country a few days earlier than our appointment with the Department of Education. I guess we'll get to do lots of sight seeing. In temperatures that won't exceed -5 degrees F. Haha! It will be an adventure, that's for sure! The only sad thing is that we only have Thursday the 20th and Friday the 21st to meet with our baby. Big, big bummer to travel literally half way across the world (which will take us 3 days to get there) for only two days of visits. It's okay, though. In the long run, these dates will be worth it. Going before Christmas will allow us to work on our court dossier while Meg's country is on shut-down for the New Year/Christmas vacation (they celebrate Christmas on January 8th). The country pretty much shuts down the first three weeks of January.
We are over the moon excited and hope you'll all stay tuned for our adventures in Eastern Europe!! We have internet service, so hopefully I'll be updating the blog daily once in country! Thank you all SO very much for the love and support we've received thus far. We are truly blessed!
***UPDATE!! We got tickets to LA, so we don't have to drive!!! Many thanks to Quin's mom for searching those out for us! They were around $500 I think, but Quin's parents donated their frequent flier miles for one of the tickets, and my parents donated miles for the other ticket. We appreciate their kindness more than we can even say! Thank you to all of them for being so amazing!!
Because of our late notice and traveling around Christmas (our travel dates are December 15-December 23), our tickets and Visas were insanely expensive! Oh well, how do you put a price on a child's life? We are flying directly from L.A. to Meg's country's capital city, then catching a connecting flight to her region. Well, the flights from Salt Lake to L.A. were $750 over these dates!!! What!? They are normally around $150, so this is insane! We have decided it is not worth $1500 for us to fly to L.A., so we are making the 12 hour drive. Crazy? Yup. Anything to save a buck these days ;) We are going to be dead tired, but we'll be home for Christmas!!
We booked our plane tickets a few days ago because prices were sky rocketing every few minutes. We knew it wasn't a sure deal that we would be traveling on these dates, but it would only be $90 to cancel our international flights. Worth it not to risk losing the chance to travel before the LONG January holiday! Well...because we sort of guesstimated the dates, we are arriving in Meg's country a few days earlier than our appointment with the Department of Education. I guess we'll get to do lots of sight seeing. In temperatures that won't exceed -5 degrees F. Haha! It will be an adventure, that's for sure! The only sad thing is that we only have Thursday the 20th and Friday the 21st to meet with our baby. Big, big bummer to travel literally half way across the world (which will take us 3 days to get there) for only two days of visits. It's okay, though. In the long run, these dates will be worth it. Going before Christmas will allow us to work on our court dossier while Meg's country is on shut-down for the New Year/Christmas vacation (they celebrate Christmas on January 8th). The country pretty much shuts down the first three weeks of January.
We are over the moon excited and hope you'll all stay tuned for our adventures in Eastern Europe!! We have internet service, so hopefully I'll be updating the blog daily once in country! Thank you all SO very much for the love and support we've received thus far. We are truly blessed!
***UPDATE!! We got tickets to LA, so we don't have to drive!!! Many thanks to Quin's mom for searching those out for us! They were around $500 I think, but Quin's parents donated their frequent flier miles for one of the tickets, and my parents donated miles for the other ticket. We appreciate their kindness more than we can even say! Thank you to all of them for being so amazing!!
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Closer!
I had a good chat with our agency today about traveling. We are the first family EVER in this region to pursue adopting a child with Down syndrome. There has NEVER been an adoption of a child with Ds from this region (basically like a state). Ever. I can't even imagine. Anyhow, because of this, the Department of Education is reluctant to give us a referral. They told our facilitator to check with a judge to see what the courts would think about this absurd idea of adopting a child with Ds. Our facilitator checked with a judge, and he said they would give us three referrals to test our desire to adopt a child with Ds. The first would be for a child with HIV. We should reject the referral. The second would be for a child with different special needs, but not Ds. We should reject this referral as well. The third would be a referral for a child with Down syndrome. Once we get and accept this referral, we are free to travel. Crazy! So based on a tentative timeline, we could be leaving in 9 days!! Yup, you read right. NINE DAYS!!! AAAHHHH!! Of course this is all subject to change based on how long it takes to get the referrals. If we don't make it in time for that week, we will have to wait another month until mid January, as the country shuts down for the first few weeks of January. I am so excited I can't even stand it!! It's like being pregnant and having an induction date. We are going to meet our child!! YES!!!!
Monday, November 26, 2012
WINNER!!!!
I had to wait until this morning to do the drawing for the iPad (because I had to get the list of who donated from Reece's Rainbow). Every entry got a number, and I put the numbers into random.org. The winning number was 751. That means our winner is KELLY DYE!! My lovely aunt who has been nothing but amazingly supportive of me my entire life. I'm happy she won! Thank you a million to everyone who donated and shared our giveaway! It means the world to us to have so many people helping us out and lifting us up!
In other news, we have an Amazon Affiliates account! Click on the Amazon.com search link on the sidebar, and Amazon will give us a percentage of your purchase!! So exciting, especially on Cyber Monday!
Thanks a million to all who are following our journey and supporting us along the way! Happy Cyber Monday shopping ;)
In other news, we have an Amazon Affiliates account! Click on the Amazon.com search link on the sidebar, and Amazon will give us a percentage of your purchase!! So exciting, especially on Cyber Monday!
Thanks a million to all who are following our journey and supporting us along the way! Happy Cyber Monday shopping ;)
Thursday, November 15, 2012
A Giveaway Full of Thanks!
It's giveaway time!! We are so thankful for the many, many incredibly generous people that have donated to Meg's adoption. We know you could have done other things with that money, and you chose to give it to bless an orphan and our family. $50,000 is a lot of money, and we could not go rescue Meg without your help! We could not be more thankful for all of you! Are hearts are bursting with love for all the service that has been given to us throughout our journey thus far.
We are preparing to travel soon, and we thought it would be fun as we try to raise a bit more money to have a Thanksgiving weekend giveaway! We started a giveaway before, but it was too overwhelming to combine it with our carnival. We are reviving our giveaway and it will end Thanksgiving weekend! The giveaway will end on Sunday, November 25th and all donations made through 10:00 pm MST on Sunday will be eligible. Donations are tax deductible and can be made by clicking here. Who wouldn't love one of these prizes to kick off the holiday gift exchange!? One lucky person randomly chosen may select one of the following:
To be a part of this giveaway, simply make a donation. You can donate $10 (2 opportunities), $25 (5 opportunities), $50 (12 opportunities), $100 (25 opportunities). Donations are tax deductible and can be made by clicking on this link http://reecesrainbow.org/42049/sponsorstephens. In addition to earning opportunities for donating, you can also earn them for sharing this! Earn 1 opportunity each of the following ways (please feel free to do more than one. 1 opportunity per type of share!): share this on facebook, tweet about this, send an email to 10 contacts or more, blog about this, and share on Instagram. PLEASE leave us a message letting us know how many opportunities you're eligible for along with your contact information (none of this information will be published). We only get a list of who donated money to our account every few weeks, so to make sure we have you in our opportunity spreadsheet, you have to let us know what you donated!! Donations made through Sunday, November 25th at 10:00 pm MST will have opportunities in the giveaway, and we will pick a winner after 10:00 pm on Sunday, November 25th using random.org.
We still have the spreadsheet from the previous giveaway, so if you already donated or shared, thank you and you're still on the list!
Good luck! We are so excited! Ready, set, SHARE!!
We are preparing to travel soon, and we thought it would be fun as we try to raise a bit more money to have a Thanksgiving weekend giveaway! We started a giveaway before, but it was too overwhelming to combine it with our carnival. We are reviving our giveaway and it will end Thanksgiving weekend! The giveaway will end on Sunday, November 25th and all donations made through 10:00 pm MST on Sunday will be eligible. Donations are tax deductible and can be made by clicking here. Who wouldn't love one of these prizes to kick off the holiday gift exchange!? One lucky person randomly chosen may select one of the following:
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| A 42" LG 3D TV (or equivalent) |
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| A new iPad |
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| OR a $500 Amazon gift card!!! |
To be a part of this giveaway, simply make a donation. You can donate $10 (2 opportunities), $25 (5 opportunities), $50 (12 opportunities), $100 (25 opportunities). Donations are tax deductible and can be made by clicking on this link http://reecesrainbow.org/42049/sponsorstephens. In addition to earning opportunities for donating, you can also earn them for sharing this! Earn 1 opportunity each of the following ways (please feel free to do more than one. 1 opportunity per type of share!): share this on facebook, tweet about this, send an email to 10 contacts or more, blog about this, and share on Instagram. PLEASE leave us a message letting us know how many opportunities you're eligible for along with your contact information (none of this information will be published). We only get a list of who donated money to our account every few weeks, so to make sure we have you in our opportunity spreadsheet, you have to let us know what you donated!! Donations made through Sunday, November 25th at 10:00 pm MST will have opportunities in the giveaway, and we will pick a winner after 10:00 pm on Sunday, November 25th using random.org.
We still have the spreadsheet from the previous giveaway, so if you already donated or shared, thank you and you're still on the list!
Good luck! We are so excited! Ready, set, SHARE!!
Sunday, November 4, 2012
More Hurdles Jumped!
Two Sundays ago (October 21st), at about 9:30 in the morning, I got a call from our placing agency. I have never spoken with them on the phone. All of our corresponding has been via email. It kind of freaked me out, and rightly so! She told me that although our dossier was on its way, two pages were missing! One of them was my mistake, and one of them was the agency's mistake. Regardless, we needed to get copies from our social worker notarized, apostilled, and Fed Ex'd ASAP!! There is a treaty agreement between the US and Meg's country going into effect November 1st. That means all dossier's submitted by October 31st are exempt from this new treaty. Who knows what hoops and delays the new treaty will bring. I, for one, really didn't want to find out! Our agency told me that our in-country facilitator had about 40 hours of translating to do, and our first dossier hadn't even arrived yet. Basically, we needed to have these papers on their way days ago. We needed a miracle.
I emailed our amazing social worker (seriously, I can't say enough good things about this guy. If you are ever in need of a home study, I can point you in the right direction!!) on Sunday telling him of the papers we needed notarized. Monday morning he told me he was about an hour away from my house for the day, but he had the papers and could have them notarized. What choice did I have? I made the two hour round trip drive and got the papers! I needed to get one of them notarized with a true and correct statement since I'm not the one that signed the paper, so that was another long stop with a notary at Quin's office. I rushed to the state capital once again and was hoping for a same day apostille. I arrived at 4:10 and the deadline for same day is 4:00. They weren't budging on that deadline despite my begging, so I had to settle for next day. It was ready by 8:00 am the next day, which was Tuesday, October 23rd, and Quin picked it up on his way to work. Both documents were Fed Ex'd that day to our agency's office, which happens to be in Maryland. It arrived in Maryland on Wednesday morning (I know because we got the Fed Ex notification), and that's the last I heard. I emailed my agency asking if they could possibly get it same-day apostilled and Fed Ex'd, or what the process would be, but I didn't hear back. I know they were all gearing up for hurricane Sandy to make her appearance, and all we could do was pray it got Fed Ex'd out of there before the storm hit! I did email a copy of the two documents that were missing to our agency in hopes that she would forward them on to the Russian facilitator so she could translate them while she waited for the actual documents to arrive, but I didn't even hear back on that. Seriously, I don't even know if our agency had power at that point. They are near DC and I know they were in the path of the storm. Although we kept praying, I had my doubts that our dossier would be registered by the 1st.
We were out trick-or-treating as a family on Halloween when I got this email, which was forwarded by our agency from our Russian facilitator, "The Stephens are registered in the Ministry today. Oksana." I started crying tears of joy right there in the moonlight! Hallelujah! I could not believe it!
Just one more miracle to add to our story.
The Ministry of Education (sounds like a Harry Potter term to me!) has ten days to request more information or paperwork. If we don't hear back, I guess that means we're in the clear and should receive our travel dates fairly soon! Can you believe it!? I can't! The time is coming, and I'm so excited I can't even contain myself! Of course I'll post the minute I hear, so stay tuned!
Once again, thank you for your support!!! We could NEVER do this without all the wonderful people in our lives! Those we've met, and those we've yet to meet. We love you all!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Forward Motion
We finally have some tangible forward motion! I delivered our dossier (the packet of information we send to Meg's country about us, including our home study, that allows us to be registered to adopt a child) to be apostilled (every page needs to be notarized, then apostilled. An apostille is basically an international notary) in the Lieutenant Governor's office at the state capital last week and we got it back yesterday!
Our precious dossier is now on its way via Fed Ex to our adoption agency who adds a few of their own papers to it. They will then be Fed Ex'ing it to Meg's country! After being translated, it gets submitted to the Ministry of Education. Once they review it and give us the green light (sometimes they need more paperwork), we will be officially registered in the region and get a referral with travel dates to come meet a child/children!! Woot woot! This whole process can take very little time, or it can take months. The bottom line, though, is that we've done our part and the rest is out of our hands! Well, at least for this initial registration dossier. We will need a whole new dossier for court, but that's a post for another day!
In other news, we sent our USCIS (United States Customs and Immigration) application to adopt a foreign child in last week as well! As long as they don't need any additional information, we will soon be in the clear with the US to bring home a little one and make her officially ours!
The beautiful capital building
Our dossier paperwork before I submit it for aposilles. This dossier (including the home study) has taken up a rather large chunk of my time and energy the last 2.5 months. I am very protective of this baby!
Here it is a week later improved with lots of expensive gold stamps!
Aren't the stamps purdy?
Whelp, there goes the carnival money! Thanks to everyone who donated! Thanks to you our dossier can be translated and submitted in Meg's country!
So long, capital hill. See you again in a few months!
Our precious dossier is now on its way via Fed Ex to our adoption agency who adds a few of their own papers to it. They will then be Fed Ex'ing it to Meg's country! After being translated, it gets submitted to the Ministry of Education. Once they review it and give us the green light (sometimes they need more paperwork), we will be officially registered in the region and get a referral with travel dates to come meet a child/children!! Woot woot! This whole process can take very little time, or it can take months. The bottom line, though, is that we've done our part and the rest is out of our hands! Well, at least for this initial registration dossier. We will need a whole new dossier for court, but that's a post for another day!
In other news, we sent our USCIS (United States Customs and Immigration) application to adopt a foreign child in last week as well! As long as they don't need any additional information, we will soon be in the clear with the US to bring home a little one and make her officially ours!
So close, yet so far away. We are getting excited, though, because information on when we first travel *should* be coming relatively soon! We will FINALLY have some sort of time table to tell ourselves and others. Hooray!
Monday, October 8, 2012
The Long and Winding Road
I know that sometimes the road to adoption can be very long and winding. We are currently on our own rugged path, and while it can be very frustrating and disheartening, it is also amazing, spiritual, and encouraging.
We found out some very heartbreaking news on September 19th. Meg was no longer on her country's database for children without parental care. We didn't know exactly what it meant, but we knew it wasn't good. From the very beginning of this journey, we have known this was a possibility. No legal hold is placed on a child until your dossier is submitted and registered in country, a referral given, the child visited, and then the referral signed (so basically after the first visit). Even then, if the parents or any native of the child's country step forward and are willing to take the child, you no longer have a hold on the child. Even after court and the child is declared yours, the family could come forward for another 30 days and take the child back. It is a gamble we were willing to take. The chances of another family taking the child you're pursuing are very, very rare. In our child's country, only 15% of children born with Down syndrome are raised in families. 85% of them are in orphanages. With those statistics, it's unlikely that someone is going to come adopt the very child you're working to adopt. Rare, but it does happen.
We have been in somewhat of a holding pattern for a few weeks now trying to decide what to do. Our agency agreed to try to investigate what happened to our little Meg, though they were skeptical they would be able to find anything out as we have not registered in the region yet (they have laws similar to HIPPA that prohibit information from being shared about the children without a prospective adoptive family being registered).
Suspecting that Meg would be permanently unavailable for adoption, we started the search for a new child. We searched the database for hours trying to find the child we felt should be ours. We found several we love and even really pursued one, but after about two weeks of sending emails to the other agency, we still hadn't received a single email back. We felt stuck. Our agency did find out that our sweet, precious little Meg was in foster care in her country and would not be available for us to adopt unless the foster family returned her. It is supposed to be a permanent placement foster home that leads to adoption. Then on Thursday (October 4), this is the email we got from our agency:
(This is from the facilitator in Meg's region. DS obviously stands for Down syndrome.)
"Today when I spoke with the lady who works with the database she said that there are many kids with DS, but the Ministery (in Meg's region) never placed DS kids for international adoption and they don't know how judges will react on this. Anyway, I've talked then with the Chief of the Welfare Department and she agreed to have this risk and try to place a DS child internationally. But she insists that the dossier should be received first, and then she would find a good candidate for the family. She also confirmed that there are MANY kids with DS and yes very young girls. I think now that I will call tomorrow to the director of the orphanage where those kids could live and ask her about DS girls from 0 to 2 years old available for adoption. If she has those girls, I'll let you know, but I'm not sure I'll be able to get the photos. I will try. This would be a very good thing if we could place a DS girl and they could see how successful it could be. Maybe they would put their DS kids on the database and not hide them."
The woman from our adoption agency in the U.S. forwarded this to me as well and sent this note from herself:
"Please think about Oksana's email. You have the possibility of changing the attitudes in this Region. How great would it be if more special needs children were placed! I really hope you will consider this option. You can still register in more than one Region, but this is such a great opportunity, I would hate to see it go by. It would still keep you in the P*** (confidential until adoption is final) Region until we see how the foster family feel about adopting "Meg."
Well, I have to say that this is the answer I was looking for! It's a little scary not being able to see pictures of kids beforehand and just having to go on blind faith that we will find a child we connect with and feel should be part of our family, but how do we pass up the prompting that this is what we are supposed to do? We don't! The Welfare Department in Meg's region has been amazing already! They know we're coming, and they even put a little girl on the database for us to see! So exciting! This also means that if anytime Meg becomes available again, we will snatch her right up!
Thank you, as always, for your incredible support! We are swimming in love from our friends, family, neighbors, and even strangers! It's possible we are the most blessed family on earth! Love to you all and we will keep you updated on our journey!
P.S. This is the little girl we fell in love with but won't be able to adopt because she is in the wrong region. I emailed her picture to Reece's Rainbow and they put her on their site! I even got to name her ( I named her McCall. Not only do I love that name, but I adore my cousin, McCall as well)! If someone reading this loves her as much as I do, please go save her!!! Click here to view her profile on Reece's Rainbow. They don't come more precious than this! Her birthday is the same month and year as Meg's. She turned one in August. I want to kiss her cheeks!
We found out some very heartbreaking news on September 19th. Meg was no longer on her country's database for children without parental care. We didn't know exactly what it meant, but we knew it wasn't good. From the very beginning of this journey, we have known this was a possibility. No legal hold is placed on a child until your dossier is submitted and registered in country, a referral given, the child visited, and then the referral signed (so basically after the first visit). Even then, if the parents or any native of the child's country step forward and are willing to take the child, you no longer have a hold on the child. Even after court and the child is declared yours, the family could come forward for another 30 days and take the child back. It is a gamble we were willing to take. The chances of another family taking the child you're pursuing are very, very rare. In our child's country, only 15% of children born with Down syndrome are raised in families. 85% of them are in orphanages. With those statistics, it's unlikely that someone is going to come adopt the very child you're working to adopt. Rare, but it does happen.
We have been in somewhat of a holding pattern for a few weeks now trying to decide what to do. Our agency agreed to try to investigate what happened to our little Meg, though they were skeptical they would be able to find anything out as we have not registered in the region yet (they have laws similar to HIPPA that prohibit information from being shared about the children without a prospective adoptive family being registered).
Suspecting that Meg would be permanently unavailable for adoption, we started the search for a new child. We searched the database for hours trying to find the child we felt should be ours. We found several we love and even really pursued one, but after about two weeks of sending emails to the other agency, we still hadn't received a single email back. We felt stuck. Our agency did find out that our sweet, precious little Meg was in foster care in her country and would not be available for us to adopt unless the foster family returned her. It is supposed to be a permanent placement foster home that leads to adoption. Then on Thursday (October 4), this is the email we got from our agency:
(This is from the facilitator in Meg's region. DS obviously stands for Down syndrome.)
"Today when I spoke with the lady who works with the database she said that there are many kids with DS, but the Ministery (in Meg's region) never placed DS kids for international adoption and they don't know how judges will react on this. Anyway, I've talked then with the Chief of the Welfare Department and she agreed to have this risk and try to place a DS child internationally. But she insists that the dossier should be received first, and then she would find a good candidate for the family. She also confirmed that there are MANY kids with DS and yes very young girls. I think now that I will call tomorrow to the director of the orphanage where those kids could live and ask her about DS girls from 0 to 2 years old available for adoption. If she has those girls, I'll let you know, but I'm not sure I'll be able to get the photos. I will try. This would be a very good thing if we could place a DS girl and they could see how successful it could be. Maybe they would put their DS kids on the database and not hide them."
The woman from our adoption agency in the U.S. forwarded this to me as well and sent this note from herself:
"Please think about Oksana's email. You have the possibility of changing the attitudes in this Region. How great would it be if more special needs children were placed! I really hope you will consider this option. You can still register in more than one Region, but this is such a great opportunity, I would hate to see it go by. It would still keep you in the P*** (confidential until adoption is final) Region until we see how the foster family feel about adopting "Meg."
Well, I have to say that this is the answer I was looking for! It's a little scary not being able to see pictures of kids beforehand and just having to go on blind faith that we will find a child we connect with and feel should be part of our family, but how do we pass up the prompting that this is what we are supposed to do? We don't! The Welfare Department in Meg's region has been amazing already! They know we're coming, and they even put a little girl on the database for us to see! So exciting! This also means that if anytime Meg becomes available again, we will snatch her right up!
Thank you, as always, for your incredible support! We are swimming in love from our friends, family, neighbors, and even strangers! It's possible we are the most blessed family on earth! Love to you all and we will keep you updated on our journey!
P.S. This is the little girl we fell in love with but won't be able to adopt because she is in the wrong region. I emailed her picture to Reece's Rainbow and they put her on their site! I even got to name her ( I named her McCall. Not only do I love that name, but I adore my cousin, McCall as well)! If someone reading this loves her as much as I do, please go save her!!! Click here to view her profile on Reece's Rainbow. They don't come more precious than this! Her birthday is the same month and year as Meg's. She turned one in August. I want to kiss her cheeks!
Monday, October 1, 2012
The Best Part
Yesterday at church, several people apologized for not being able to make our carnival and handed us checks for large amounts of money. The same thing happened to my mom at church. It has continued into today, and we have made around $800 more because of our carnival. I am simply amazed by the goodness of people. I have to say that the money is amazing, but even more amazing is the support and love. We feel so lifted up by the friends and family around us! The kind, smiling faces, words of encouragement, and willingness to share their personal funds are making the burden that is international adoption light! We are deeply grateful! I won't be able to personally thank each of you, but I have such an overwhelming feeling of thankfulness for you all that I can't even put it into words! The money piece of this adoption has been, since the beginning, the absolute stress of my life. While we aren't yet halfway to our goal, I know it will happen. Slowly but surely, the good people around us have donated, helped, and supported. We've raised nearly $18,000! How is that even possible!? Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of our hearts!
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Carnival=Success!!
Wow, wow, wow! What an amazing time we had tonight at our carnival!!! We had well over 300 people show up, 50ish volunteers, a slew of donated items, and a crazy fun time! People were handing us money right and left! It was so uplifting and overwhelming that all these people (many of whom we had never met before) showed up, pulled out their cash, and were happy as can be to help us go rescue our little girl! I am convinced we have the best friends, neighbors and family of anyone anywhere! Thank you so much to everyone that helped in any way and for all the people who showed up and gave so generously! We are completely overwhelmed with love and couldn't be happier. We would also like to say a special thanks to Picture it Photo Booth, Bopper the Clown, and A Lot of Fun Stuff (dunk tank) for their amazing generosity and donated services! Also the Buchanan family for their cotton candy, popcorn machine, and amazing help and to the Macauley family for their cotton candy and crazy long hours of service! Thank you doesn't even express the love and gratitude we feel for all of you. We will never be able to repay your kindness! And for the grand total (minus our expenses)...$6,022!!!!!!
